I do everything for my children

Last Sunday I took my children to Pusat Sains Negara at Bukit Kiara. Its a very interesting place to visit and the ticket considerably cheap as well, if we compare to Petrosains. The exhibition also very informative and interactive. The only lacking is just that some of the exhibit is not well maintain. Well, its probably Sunday and they didn't have people to fix the problem for that particular exhibits.

However, above all everything just great. At the entrance they put a model that shows how tsunami hits the shore. Kids can generally understand how tsunami hits the shore by interacting with the model. This model is similar to what I see in the documentary about tsunami by NHK after the 2004 tsunami in Acheh. Surround the model they are ponds with rock gardens and the ponds are made of glasses. Nevertheless my children could not manage to care with the fish. I found its rather fascinating with the rock garden and water fountain and the japanese carps.

In Pusat Sains Negara, we also can see an aquarium with a tunnel whereby people can walk underneath them. This aquarium contains fresh water fish and I tell you the fishes are big. My children were lucky to see two divers fed fishes with bread in the water. Liyana kind of in bewilderment to see people dives in the water doning the mask and oxygen tank. She scared too with the diver.

The exhibition hall were separeted into several science finding. If I were to telling story everything, I don't know when I can complete this entry. Its an awsome place to visit and very educational trip for the children. And I'd like to tell everybody how important to get near to your children and take the oppurtunity to explain what are that all about. Some children, they just like wandering in the exhibition building some want to learn about science and frankly I can see most of them like to playing with the exhibits. They do not actually understand how to relate that exhibits in reality life. So its our responsibility to explain to our children what are that for. They are not meant for toy. They are exhibits for learning. We spent three hours in Pusat Sains Negara.

I would reccomend this place to be visited at least once a year. Science changes every day and I reckon they will improve the exhibitions every now and then.

Then on Wednesday and Thursday I had a two days Research and Development Symposium in Sunway Resort Hotel. Many knows that my technical paper were accepted for final oral presentation. The grand price is RM 3K. Like I have already mentioned earlier on, I don't really care for winning as I know that the other presenter are better than me. The winner of the RnD Symposium was an Arabs who improve mathematical model with Fast Fourier Transform in designing the circuit and transistor for wafer fabrication. I just took the symposium as a platform to introduce myself to the senior management and I am very glad some have noticed us now. I got consolation price that evening and makan makan ........................ huh lebih hebat aku makan dari bersimposium kekekekekeke. Other than that we can cuci mata tengok Miss Tourism from all over the world. Yang macam Altantunya sebijik pun ada pakai selempang Mongolia. Is She a ghost? ............ siap la ko budak.

On Saturday emmmmmmmm as usual on school holidays, kenduri kawen memanjang. But after kenduri Azfar circumcise. On Friday I tried to book time with doctor. The doctor wanted to set the appointment in the morning. I told him that Azfar is still in Ulu Langat and I wanted to go to wedding reception. I would probably arrive home after Zohor. Banyak songeh kan aku. To my supprise, the doctor suggested to me that he can do the circumcision in my house. I'll be glad I replied. By the way, I got new neighbour live next door to me and he is the doctor. So on Saturday after Zohor, the doctor came with his assistant and the circumcision start at about 3.30pm.

Azfar was a brave kid. He is very relax when the doctar start the procedure. He is calm and that help the doctor. By 3.45pm, the procedure completed. And now Azfar has became a gentleman.

Over the weekend we bought him Sahibba. So he could fill his time playing that with his sister and his bibik kekekekeke. Last night I fixed his computer so that he has some entertainment besides Sahibba.

Circumcise

I almost done with this entry yesterday but power disturbance has shutdown my computer and I got to retype again. Mannnnnnnn .......... I hate when I got to repeat things that I should have completed much earlier on.

OK ......................its school holiday and the season starts again. Besides wedding, its a season for boys to have their P*n*s circumcise. Some anticipated with fears and some with bold heart. If you listen to Pagi Di Era, they made as a topic.

Well ......... the evolution of circumcise has change the cultural event in our country. The technique with knives and bamboo sticks with banana stems which handle by tok mudin were later change to scissors and stiches and the latter with lasers and clamps handle by certified doctors.

With the evolution of the technique, today I reckon, not only the muslims doing the circumcise, other races also doing the same things for reason like they understand that its better off to have that 'thing' clean. Other reason that make me feel this way simply because the technology are not made by the muslim but its developed by the Mat Salleh or Chinese.

Ok lets get back to the cultural event. I categorized them into three phases, Zaman Tok Mudim, Small Surgery and the latest with Lasers and Clamp.

I fitted in the phase where the technologies changes from Zaman Tok Mudim to Small Surgery. Since our family have move in Serdang, my parents decided to take me to doctors instead off Tok Mudim. So I don't have the experienced of Mandi Beremdam, Bersiram nor Istiadat Menjunjung. I just off to doctors. Some folks whom circumcise with Tok Mudim told a story that their event were merrier.

Usually their parents will make Berkhatan Beramai Ramai and make some kenduri. Most of them told me that often time their parents will ask them to dip in the stream for hours before going to tok mudim. I don't know why but if you have the reson........, tell me. They will ride a tandu and their father and kins will carry them to to mudim.

Nevertheless, being born in a Javanesse roots, my parents still made a kenduri. Macam kenduri kawen Mind You.......... I reckon last Saturday is the 1st time Arc when to a kenduri anak sunat but grand as wedding reception. Java always JAWORLD hehehehehehe. I can still vividly remember I got RM60 ringgit. 25yrs back RM60 is massive. I bought monopoly and gamewatch. Those years gamewatch is popular as popular as to gameboy. If you ask me whether or not I feel the pain doing the surgery, it is not. However I can feel the pain when the doctor wanted to clean the cut. When they remove the gauze, I screamed. Man......... I can feel the pain and ladies if you don't know how it feel like, why don't you cut the flesh and rub the cut with gauze. Than you can feel the pain.

I got to endure 3 times because the cleaning session were made for three session. Menangis wooo masa kena sentap gauze tuh. The first time I went for cleaning session, I walked in with chest forward and chin up and for the 2nd and 3rd I cringed. Takut juga aku nih hahahahahaha.

Okay. Since I went for second phase I do not know how to telling story the event for those people with Tok Mudim. If you happen to know how it is work maybe you can tell us.

So I planned to send my son for circumcise. Since the surgery is considered dangerous after what had happend to a boy in Pantai Timur, I'd rather not use that method anymore. So I plan to ask doctor to use clamp. The cut will be minimal but the pain still there. Angah aka Tunangan Wan asked me how its feel like. Adaka dia tanya kat aku lagu tuh ........ macam la aku boleh bersunat 2 kali. The best thing is I'll ask to my son laaaaa later how its feel like. I cannot desribe the pain since I'll not do the same again for the 2nd time. Bengong la tunangan wan hahahahaha.

Angah suggested to use laser but I think my son will not have a story to tell to his kids if he use lasers technique. Tak sakit lagu mana nak cerita sama anak kan hahahahah. Lets give him some experience that he will never forget, something that he can share with his kids, something that he can blog to you people.

Azfar is going to circumcise

MAHA - Was it a success

I am not really enthuasist in agruculture but I dont reject the idea of being agripreneur someday, hopefully in the near future. I have heard numbers of stories from friends or acquaintance who have run the chicken farming and cow farming and generally said that the business is good, infact better than blue collar workers.

I can't deny that. Anything on this beautiful earth with massive will, will return with good result and often better. I have a chance chatted with one graduate farmer who plants melons and chillis using smart planting, a method that is almost similar to Iris's Smart Pot. According to him he was lucky that all his brother loaned him some money to start with the project. He went for a course conducted by Agriculture department to start the project. Everything went smooth untill the day he want to start the project. Even Bank Pertanian could not support his project for reason his project is a new technology and has not proven yet. Apara laaaaaaaaa ......... What the heck ........... how we can inculcate modern farming if the bank officer would not dare to support new modern technique. Hampeh betullllllllll. Melayu nak tolong Melayu pun tak bolehhhhhhhhh

Challenges and obstacles always in our path and I am glad that he endured all that and today he has succeeded. Now the question, the event, MAHA, was it a success?. If the ministry measure with the collection made during the exposition and the numbers of visitors of course its a success. However I think that the ministry should view from different angle to say if the event was a success. From now on ward, in addition to the revenue collected on the days of event and numbers of visitor, I want to see the numbers of modern farming increase to, say 100 farmers per year ....................... Malay farmers especially, and sales of local farmers from modern farming minimum at RM 300M a year. The sale from downstream activities increase to RM 200M a year. And as a proof, I want to listen to testimony of at least 50 successfull modern farmers in the next event. Then I call it a success.

Is it to much to ask for from the Ministry. If the problem comes from the bank, increase the fund made thru MARA. Moreover MARA is a unit for Bumiputra and they must help the bumiputra. Kalau nak harapkan bank, tokey mata sepet, big officers also mata sepet. I dont think they will give bumiputra grant to pursue any modern farming technique.

So do you think MAHA is success? At this moment I DARE SAY ITS NOT ENTIRELY SUCCESS. I challenge the ministry to prove that my opinion is wrong.

........... and the examination has over, for the 1st semesterOk

Kind of busy these few days. Symposium committee members request us to do some corrections to the full paper. Some comments from them need to be corrected before we make a presentation before Datuk JJ together with MOSTI senior officers as well as senior management from my company.

Our full paper were amongts the 18 papers that got thru to the final presentation days from 44 full paper submission. The price for winner is RM3k follow with RM2500 for runners up and RM1500 for 2nd runners up. To be frankly, we don't even dream of placing 1 to 5 since this is our 1st attemp. The rest of the speaker have experienced in presenting their paper many times. I just hoping my experienced in making a presentation to the Prime Minister of Kyrgystan will help to boost my confident............ although that will be different because I made a presentation thru my interpreter. However we are still very glad that our full paper has been picked for the symposium.

OK ................... back to the topic. Last Saturday is the last paper for this semester. For 3 week ends I got to endure all the hassle of being a student. Sometimes I just could not imagine how I have gone thru with all that. Before I plan to pursue my study, the very 1st question I asked to myself is whether or not I could stand the agony of studying to get that piece of paper call Master. After pondering a little while I said to myself, instead of do it to myself, why not do it to my kids. I want to be an example to the kids that we need to study if we want to have good result.

That is the intention. To be an example. So I got to feel the pain again so that my kids know that they also need to study if they want to excel.

So my 1st paper was Fundamental Environmental Engineering. This is the toughest subject. A lot of calculation; intergration and derivative. Man ................ I almost forgot a lot of thing. Luckily there are no Laplace and Fourier Transform. Or else I succumbed to the ground solving the calculation.......... yg nih mesti cekedes ketawakan kat aku. mentang mentang la dia tere math........ hahahahaha cammana la aku boleh abis belajar hahahahahaha. Anyway all the hardship paid off. I got A- for this subject.

My 2nd paper was Air Pollution Engineering. I reckoned this is the easiest paper. Hope that I could score with this paper. The lecturer huh ..................... is the best lecturer I have ever met. I tell you, if you plan to continue study in Enviromental Engineering or Enviromental Managament, get to Dr Luqman's class. He just SUPERB.

My 3rd paper was Environmental Helath Engineering. No calculation involved but I need to read like law student does. If someone could imagine the fact of 148 pages notes to answer for 4 question............ ahhhhhhhhhhh This is not story book whereby you can just read one time and pass through the chapter. This subject require me to go through several times before one idea sink to my brain. Hampeh juga subjek nih. This one.............I am not really sure if I could get good score. Just hoping it will.

After the examination, the class off for 6 weeks. Phewwwwwwwwwwww besttttttttttttttttt

.......and finally its confirm, I am A Section Head of a module

A lot of things have happened the last few of days. My car was hit from behind, done with second final semester examination and now preparing for the last paper (I'll make another entry on this), preparing slide presentation for the symposium that going to happen on December ........ and nothing compares to this, Restructuring of the whole organization.

I have mentioned before that I am at the same grade with my immediate supervisor and she is running the unit now. That is until yesterday, because I have been transfered to another module and lead a new combine structure of Testing Group, Quality & Reliablility and Safety ....... Phewwwwwww....... The last structure, The Testing Group stands on its own but now has been put into one unit and I am going to handle them. This is massive responsibility that I have to shoulder.

Promotion ............ No ............. I am still holding the same grade but now with exxxxxtraaaaaa responsibility. Previously I only back up my superior in the event when she (Mem Kecik) is out of office. Like I said before, I like the money I got with the responsibility that I hold previously and now with the same salary I'll be holding extra burden. That is why some of you have not seeing me at Joe's Tag Board.

The challenges that the Operation Director (Mem Besar) told me is to working with the people from the Test Group. Most of them are very senior compares to me with experience more than 12 years in the unit. I am in the 10th year of service and come from different working backgorund. Well ........... They also have similar position with me. The old me would definitely luv thissssssssss, same grade and with less burden. Nevertheless Mem Besar has put some words that has changed my perspective. 'Do you know why you will lead this group R421?' She asked me last Friday. Me ......... silence. 'Your name has been vote by all managers to take up this responsibility. We believe that you are capable of leading the unit' She continued......... 'We found you have some edge over ****** from Test Group' ................ and the conversation goes on until almost 2 hours.

Of course I am very glad that they trust me that I can lead. Of course I am glad that they know that I have extra talent to lead people. Of course I am glad that now I have the Title, even with the same grade I am holding now. And most important is I am glad that all the managers supported me to lead the new structred unit. And the best part is, the most senior in my new unit ready to support me................. although some one must hurt for not getting the position.

If you ask me again whether its a promotion, I called it SOFT PROMOTION. The new me will embrace the new oppurtunity and prove to all that their choice is right.

Thanks managerssssssssssssssss

Gambar gambar Gegar Eid

Angah dan Wan Persis Pengantin Baru



Jejaka Hensem Hensem


Anak Anak Dara Reban


Anne n Husband


Ramai Ramai Terharu dgn Pemberian Joe Dan Pakdee

GEGAR Eidul Fitri - The Day

I dare not say it is a night to remember as I believe that this reban ayam family will become bigger and bigger......... Nevertheless its is an event that lots of tagger longing to come, thus far.

It is a history. A new record has been set that the event has successfully attracted many taggers to a get-together event called GEGAR at my house. Amongst new faces that come to this event are Jokonton who bring his wife as company, Ila with his sporting husband (her husband took video that night), MM with her husband and daughter, and Jijo with his family. The bachelors are Cekedes yg memang very the kurus, Lis with her sister (elder sister if I can recall that). The new anak anak dara that join the GEGAR are, Red Car, Y't, Itik Putih with her ehem ehem spouse.

Familiar faces that have not missed the gathering are, Ain a.k.a Angah with her 'husband to be in very near future' Wan, Photogenic Queen Delinn, Peace Signed UTM Student Ima, Cek Mek Molek Zure, News faster than internet Sempoi with her family, Bilal with her macho but not hancho husband and her daughters, Par the ex X'Man, Alangz the most available bachelor in tag (saham makin naik wo lepas dua kali masak utk majlis gathering)and forget not Mic Queen and Ketawa tak hengat Fara, the sonsy Coco and last but not least is Ratu Jorok cum Minah Blur Anne from Singapore. ........... huhuhu sorry I forgot about kong and his family. Rendang ko memang sedap la Kong.

Special appearance is Aunty N who purposely choosed the date to send Kak Long to MMU on Sunday so that she could join the gathering all the way from Penang.

Other Guest is Fauzi, Alangz housemate who I reckon could steal the lime light of the night if he could stay a lot longer.

absentees are Ana, Mat Metal, Yummy who lost the way to my house, Xoxo who has passed the duit raya to kids via Arc, Wakame who got fever and Aunty Yan which I understood having food poisoning.

The night was cold with rain showering outside the house but the heat under the roof temperate every time they laughed. Can someone picture when more than 12 women chat, gossiping and telling stories follow with laugher. Huhhhh the sound you can listen till the end of the block ....... hahahahahahaha. And you guys shall not worry because my neighbours are cool. Its Eid and they understand. Eemmmmmmmmmm and now I shall think ways of how I can have more money so that I could get bigger house with bigger space with ample parking space.

And there also moment in sorrow upon receiving duit Raya from Joe and Pakdee. Yes we have not met with both of them who lives abroad and yet they are very closed to us. Very dear and seems like the bonding is much tighter than family. These are two guys who made taggers days. From depressed at work to happiness, from one being lonely but now having many friends from one being stressed and later become released. Deep inside our heart we wish someday, that is very near in the future we could make this gathering merrier by having these two gentlemen around us. Joe and Pak Dee we thank you so much.

So who is the Queen and the King of the night. The Competition are tough with Alangz and Zure were trying to steal the lime light from Ain and Wan. However I reckon the award shall go to Ain and Wan because they donned the macth colour for their Baju Kurung and Baju Melayu respectively.

The most bachelor award goes to Alangz after his housemate withdrawn from the competition for not staying much longer.

Raja makan goes to my son Azfar hahahahahahaha

Ratu makan tarak after most of them busy chatting and gossiping

Best Cameraman goes to Ila's Husband. Saper la nama ku boleh lupa pulak (Dont forget to burn the CD and we can send the CD to US and Canada).

Tambahan lagi anugerah: Perampok hebat 2nd runner up Fara, 1st runner up Bilal and the winner Sempoii

Basically the gathering was awesome but I tell you friend that the best is yet to come. The best will mark and all time history whereby that two gentlemen join us on the gathering.

To all. TQ for making the event a success.

p/s

apasal gambar tak boleh upload dalam blog haaaaaaaaaa

GEGAR Eidul Fitri

5th Ocbober 2006 will mark a new history. A history that Joe's circle of friends would never imagined. This is the day when a record of 40 pupils would GEGAR my house for the Hari Raya Gathering. I myself had never imagined to be a host of this crowd.

Of course I had had made several open house with more than 40 people coming in to my house but then people comes and go in a 3hrs time..... So you can't see that crowd. And this occasion is different. Most of the taggers will come almost at the same time, simply because they want to chat like nobody business like they always did in the tag board.

I must warn by neighbours of the sound that might come from my home. (Can I warn the taggers .......... knock it off ..... they will never listen to the warning hehehehe). So neighbour, excuse us. Hari Raya maaaaaaaa. hehehehehe.

All taggers will bring pot-luck like we did on last iftar. I just don't want to think right now where to put all the pot luck. With 15 pupils last Iftar have full the 8-Seat table with food and now with 40 pupils ................... arghhhhhhhhhh. Tak dapat nak fikirkan sekarang.

To all, can't wait the day ............ see you on Sunday.

By the way, I will have final semester examination on Sunday and only over at 4.30pm. Kalau aku sampai rumah lambat sket, please excuse me.

Selamat Hari Raya, Maaf Zahir dan Batin

I reckon its not too late to wish everybody Happy Eid. I hope everybody take this moment to visit relatives and friends and ask for forgiveness for any wrong doing.

As far as I am concern, you guys have not doing anything wrong to me ........ and if I ever have made wrong to you or probably have hurt you, I seek forgiveness from you.

During this festive season, I always glad that I am local, though many people think that celebrating Eid in KL isn't merrier with those folks in kampung. I believe things that make things merrier is in the state of mind. We think happy and we happy.

Although I once feel bored when I was a kid because all the friends return to kampung and I celebrating with 2 or 3 friends, we tried to make our things merrier. After visiting friends that still live nearby we usually go to KL and watch movie.

I can still vividly remember when I was 12 I watched movie with my neighbour in REX, accross the road of Komplek Kotaraya Those years cineplex have not exist and we watched movie in a big theatre hall. Picture this, in a big hall that usually accomodate 700 people only not more than 50 people watch movies on that 1st or 2nd Hari Raya. Hahahahahahaha we are the Raja.

My mom will get mad to me if she ever knew that I watched movie in KL with my friends. My neighbour was 15 when he led us to KL. We ride Tong Fong Bus and we headed to KL without the knowledge of our parent. What to do maaaaaaaa. We want to make things merrier maaaaaaaaa.

The road in KL, wallaaaaaaaaaaaaa, silent and believe me we can lay on the road for hours without been interrupted by vehicles. Sunyi Sepi hahahaha...... we are the Raja.

I wed Arc and I am glad she also local. Most folks took time to discuss which kampung to visit first, we glad that we can visit both each of them in no longer time. The distance is almost 20 minutes driving distance and its no troublesome. Furthermore, jalan sunyi and we can reach to the places we want to go in no longer time. I AM GLAD. THANKS ALMiGHTY GOD.

In every Ringgit

In every ringgit I have it goes to:

1. RM 0.30 for taxes
2. RM 0.20 for my mortgage
3. RM 0.20 for to pay other debt including credit card
4. RM 0.08 for my helper
5. RM 0.05 for my mom
6. RM 0.05 for my kids
7. RM 0.05 for groceries
8. RM 0.05 for me and wife
9. RM 0.02 for FRIENDSS

So far, in Ramadhan

I told you I have a lot of thing to tell........ cuti blogging lama maaaaaa mesti ada banyak cite. I thought I want to make additional entry on Friday but the desktop at my office became kaput. I got to call ISM to fix the problem. I dont know when Mem Besar wants to approve my new laptop.

Ramadhan this year have been very special to me ....... at least so far. Many things has happened for the past two weeks and I kind of like it very much. First of all we have been honoured to be a host for Iftar for Joe's Tagger circle of friend. Although we feel exhausted but if we were asked to do it again, we do not have any hesitation to welcome back you people again. We really enjoyed the moment when friends are around us. Joe must be proud of how much we have bind together. From his tag we have become really good friends. We wish someday that Joe could join us, having fun meeting us face to face, chats and laught together....... Not to forget Zaidee in Canada, we always welcome you to our house. I am not going to telling story again what happend that day because I believe many of you have read from Fara, Delinn, Alangz, Angah (Ain), Ima, Zure, Sempoi. One thing for sure, myself and Arc are glad knowing this bunch of people. You just incredibly superb.

Secondly, on the late night we have iftar together with Joe's Tagger, our helper recieved a news that her father has passed away in Medan. He is very old approaching to 100 years of old. We offered to buy a return air ticket for her to visit his family and she refused to going back. In her heart she wanted to return to visit her family but she knows if she return back to Medan her mum will cry again when she wants to return back again to Kuala Lumpur. So she decided to stay and just called her family. Insyaallah we will recite yassin at surau before eid. Our surau recite yassin on daily basis to arwah after terawih. We make alm to the surau and we can submit names of arwah and the kariah will recite the yassin togetehr.

Thirdly, on the 3rd of October, Liyana turn to 4 years old. We don't really celebrate the birthday since its in the Ramadhan. Arc bought a cake for Liyana to blow the candle. Liyana don't usually likes her picture to be snapped. But she knows that day was a special even and she cooperated when Arc snap the photo. Very sweet. She has grown up and I just hoping that she will be nice to our family as she is today. We love your dear.

Last but not least ........ jengh jeng jeng. For a record. This year is the first time Arc make Hari Raya cookies. All this year we just make kuih tunjuk from the catalogue or from friends. She has one friend that likes to make cookies and cakes. She passed everything she knows to Arc so that Arc could makes the cookies of our own. She always said that for Arc I gave everything for free but for others she just shut her mouth. One reason because she knew that Arc will not make business from her recipe. Others .......... hahahaha ambik kesempatan ajer. She even lend her oven to us so that Arc could make cookies. So far so good. The taste wallllaaaaaaaa, much better than what we had bought before. I don't mind getting her an oven latter if she can make the cookies that good, and not to mention ayam singgang she made with the oven, hehehehehehe she would probably do it again to those who come to our house during Eid. This has made me love her so much.

So Far, this Ramadhan have made me happy, of course a part from knowing my helper's father passed away.

I am back

Its has been few months that I took myself time-off from blogging. Not that I want to quit blogging nor blog hopping; it just that the luxury time that I am lacking right now.

Its all started out when I am preparing myself to the first test for my Master Degree program. I got to prepare myself much earlier since I have left school more than 10 years ago. Otak dah berkarat maaaa and need polishing. perghhhhh ..... I never realise that I can be so determined to excell in this exam. Then, Not to mention the symposium paper that I got to submit before the test. Phewwwww ... all the sacrifie paid off. I got the symposium paper ready in time and the best part is I managed to get decent mark for the subject that is tough at this moment. The later, my symposium's paper has been accepted in the best 18 papers that will be presented in front of the CEO and Sr. Management in November. Mind you; best 18 papers out of 44 paper submission anddddddddd in our 1st attempt. Phew I am gald I did.

A lot of thing happened for the past 7 or 9 weeks ago. I missed Bilal wedding though I thought I shall be able to see her weds her macho husband. I became blur with what had happenned to Angah and her 'unsensitive" boyfriend, and now has becoming more romantic these days. I wonder how is Arena doing and her family.... ? I missed AN writing .................. hey what about Puteri. Where is she now? And Fara ....... The very person that have not stop visiting my blog. And still, encouraging me to write again, eventhough in a short line, I reckoned.

Two weeks ago I had my 2nd test and I did well in the test. Things that i thought diffucult is not really difficult at all. Thanks to my wife that understand me. Thanks to my superior that supported me in pursuing my study. They have help me in one way or another. Arc always print my assignment or my lecture notes, my boss never stop me when my friend and I discussing the subject or doing our assignment or browsing internet to find information on the subject we learnt......... wait wait wait ........ don't get me wrong, to those who have not known my working background, don't tell me I am not being ethical in the work place. My nature of job is similar to what I am studying right now, which is environment issues and the fact that being in this department, we carry our duty in accord with SAP or doing breakdown maintenance whenever its happens. Or else we just sit chat with colleague or in my case, I chat with Joe's Taggers.

Thus far, I manage to handle my study. Only recently we have some restructuring activities going on in our company. Biasa maaaaaaa bila satu CEO baru masuk mesti ada perubahan punya. The management wants to cut down some overhead and operating cost. For almost 5 weeks things had not settle down. We heard a lot of rumours only to find that the yesterday's news no longer valid in present. Not until they give black n white instruction then only we abide with the instruction. My friend who is in the same class in my Master Degree program has been transfer to another department. There are two actually that has been transfered and both of them is in my group. I don't really comfortable and I started looking for an option in Jobstreet and JobsDB. My boss noticed and advice me to stay. She reasoned that Mem Besar wants me in the department and that is why she fighted to the management not to relocate me. In addition to that I will carry the title of my boss. Well, frankly speaking i don't really bother with the title because everybody knows that I am in the same grade with my superrior. It just that she is 42 and I feel people want to honour her with that title. Me ............. as long as gaji ikut grade apa ker hal dgn title right.

I spoke to my ex boss who is leaving the company today about my situation. He said that I just should stay here untill I finish my Master Degree Program. I am still young, energetic and now the only working level engineer in my unit. That give extra advantage in the near future. According to him laaaaaaaaaa. I know I could do a lot better and with the situation the department is facing right now, I feel so disssssssappointed. I asked him why he is leaving. Well, he feels similar to what I feel and he feel he has not been rewarded well. People who have similar no. of year working experience to him from outside now been appointed as a Director and he still remain a manager. Not even close to senior manager. So I tell him that is the reason why I want to quit as well. He just smile.

arghhhhhhhhhh ....... still, I am glad I choose to further my study. At least I have new circle of friends in my class that I could scout for new oppurtunity. Bole la cuba cuba tanyakan keje. And at this moment, I reckoned, I just need to wait and see what will come to me.

Bersambung lagi nanti ................ taknak cite pasal keje lagi

Nota kaki

Entry ini ditulis pada 6 Oktober. Tapi pasal ambil dari draft punya entry yg konon aku nak submit jadi terkeluarla entry date 30 Ogas

Sepagi di Alamanda

Hari ini aku tak ada kelas. Bukan aku skip cuma untuk semester ini aku ambil 3 mata pelajaran dengan 9 kredit ajer, so memang hari ini aku tak ada kelas.

Peluang begini aku ambil bawa anak anak aku jalan. Gaji pun sudah so boleh la bawak jalan jalan. Asalnya Arc nak ajak aku ke Mid Valley tapi pasal mengenangkan jam dah pun pukul 10am pagi tadi so aku kata ajer kat Arc kita jalan ajer kat Alamanda. Bukan tak pernah kita orang ke Mid Valley time2 macam ini end end kami pusing balik pergi ke IOI Puchong ajer. Sebabnya parking tak ada. Tambahan dengan fulus orang tengah banyak nih.

By the way jangan terkejut dengan time stamp masa aku post entry nih. Ada drill emergency responce team. Tuh yg aku ada kat pejabat masa begini. Asalnya nak balik cepat lepas jumpa komandan, tapi dia suruh tunggu sekejap pasal ada berita mengatakan sebahagian ahli cuti tanpa kebenaran. Nak kena potong elaun depa nih nanti.

Berbalik pasal ke Alamanda tadi sebabnya anak aku yang kecil sekali sibuk sangat dia nak belon angin yang sumbat dengan gas helium tuh. Kelmarin ada beli tapi katanya dah terbang ke awan. Sangka aku terlepas dari tangannya. Tapipembantu rumah aku kata dia terputus dari pemberatnya. Dua tiga hari dia bad mood mengenangkan belonnya yang dah terbang tuh. So hari ini sebelum ke MPH untuk cari buku untuk anak anak aku, kami belikan dia belon idamannya. Tak nak dia bising masa kat MPH tuh. Awalnya semua berjalan lancar. Adalah dalam satu jam kami kat MPH tuh kemudian dia menjerit kata lapar. Adeh malu wei dia jerit kuat kuat begitu.

Arc bawa budak budak keluar sementara aku bayar buku buku yang anak anak aku cari. Tak lama lepas tuh aku dengar dia menangis pulak. Arc marahkan kat dia kot tuh yang dia menangis kut. Keluar ajer aku dari MPH dia menangis sungguh sungguh. Rupanya belon dia terbang lagi. Aku tengok memang kesan terputus. Kalau korang boleh bayangkan pemberatnya pakai washer untuk lapik skru tuh.

Aku pujuk la anak aku kita beli lain pulak. Aku ke tempat belon tadi dan aku beritahu dia dah 2 kali tali terputus dari washer. Kenapa masyarakat peniaga melayu nih pantang kita beritahu dia apa yang tak kena dengan sistem dia. Aku cakap dah 2 kali tali terputus kat washer tuh dia boleh beritahu selama dia berniaga tuh tak pernah pulak orang beritahu dia masalah seperti aku. Hellllllo stupid small malay entrepreneur............ aku beritahu supaya ada feedback yang dia boleh buat improvement ker aper ker. Bukannya aku nak perkecilkan perniagaan dia. Sekurang kurang nya cakap la terima kasih dan cakap saya usahakan cara lain nanti. Bangan betul dia tuh.

Kalau ikutkan hati aku hendak ajer aku cakap kuat kuat cakap bisnes dia tak bagus menyebabkan client rugi. Boleh dia beritahu aku tak pernah satu belon pun dia nampak kat siling alamanda selama dia berniaga kat sini. Geram aku cakp terus you pergi depan MPH dan ambik balik belon tuh. Terus senyap. Anak aku dah merengak nak belon aku suruh dia ambil apa yang dia nak. Masa aku nak bayar tuh aku nampak ada nut dalam tong washer tuh. Aku suruh dia tukar washer kepada nut tuh sambil cakap washer tu tajam macam pisau tuh yang sebab tali putus. Isteri dia tarik sikit ajer memang dah putus tali dia. Apa lagi aku cakap balik nampak tak senang terputus tali tuh. tarik sket ajer dah putus. Terus dia suruh aku bayarRM2 instead of RM3.

Puas hati aku tadi. beremosi betul aku pagi tadi. Lepas nih kalau dia buat jual belon pakai washer lagi mahu ajer aku canangkan kat seluruh warga tag blogspot ker, blogdrive ker jangan beli belon dengan washer. Mengabis beras ajer.

Dah habis kat situ kami ke Carrefour pula, caari apa apa yang patut. Part kat sini pula aku selalu tergelak sorang ajer kalau kalau dah nak sampai kat depan pintu Carrefour tuh./ Boleh tak bayangkan ramai orang cari pelangan untun kredit kad la, Streamyx la, AStro la. Yang seronoknya kalau orang jual Astro dengan Streamyx approach aku laju ajer aku cakap saya dah ada Astro dah atau saya dah ada Streamyx dah. Terus dia orang blah. Kalau dia orang tanya aku ambil pakej apa memang aku tak tahu apa nak jawab dan pasti dia orang tahu aku hanya temberang hahahahahahahaha ..................... nasib badan ko la labu hahahahahahahah

Cerita ringkas kelas aku

Lama dah dah update blog. Tak sempat sempat aku nak tulis blog. Sibuk ajer memanjang. Dengan kerja kerja pejabat yang hendak dilayan, dengan kertas kerja untuk simposium yang akan dijalankan tak lama lagi dan yang terbaru dengan kelas kelas hujung minggu aku.

Memang penat. Sering kali mata ini hendak ajer layu tak kala memulakan kerja. Minggu lepas pun masuk tag Joe sekejap ajer aku dah terlelap.

Banyak dulu yang aku nak ceritakan terutamanya perihal First Aid. Aku ada mengikuti latihan First Aid oleh St.John Ambulance. Banyak perkara yang aku fahami silap sebelum ini. Walau bagaimana pun aku akan ceritakan perihal ini di lain masa. Buat masa ini aku nak ceritakan kelas Master aku.

Kelas aku telah bermula pada 15hb Julai yang lepas. Slow juga kepala otak nak mulakan belajar balik ini. Yang menjadi advantage kat aku bila kelas yang aku belajar ini bersangkutan terus dengan kerja yang aku buat. Jadi tak adalah termusykil musykil aku.

Kelas aku kalau ikutkan jadual memang nampak macam pack. Masuk 2.30pm habis 6.30pm utk Sabtu dan 9.30am sampai 6.30pm utk Ahad. Tapi sebenarnya balik cepat juga. Pensyarah suka skip slide presentation dia dengan alasan kami boleh baca sendiri nanti. Dia hanya akan terangkan mana yang sepatutnya dia terangkan.

Kalau ikutkan pengalaman aku masa belajar di Liverpool dulu, kalau lecturer buat tak kisah dengan satu satu topic memang ada harapan besar la topic tuh tak akan keluar exam nanti. Rasa rasa lecturer UPM pun macam tuh juga ker. Kalau macam itu seronok betul aku .......

Untuk kelas yang pertama, Air Pollution Engineering, dah terus dapat assignment. Assignment penting untuk back up markah final exam nanti. Aku rasa aku masih ada advantage berbanding student lain yang kebanyakkan student yang tak ada pengalamankerja atau tiada pengalaman berkaitan dengan subjek yang dipelajari(yang ini yg kerja dengan jabatan kerajaan spt JKR, MOH, Konsultant. Tak adalah nak kata aku boleh score cuma aku rasa aku boleh siapkan kerja aku dengan mudah ajer.

Untuk kelas aku yang pertama ini cuma ada seramai 8 ker 9 orang murid ajer. Agaknya subjek ini tidak menarik minat ramai pelajar kot. Tak apalah janji aku habiskan ajer subjek ini.

Hari Sabtu dan Ahad yang lepas ini ada lagi kelas Environmentak Health Engineering pula. Ini pun banyak juga yang aku nak sampaikan kepada reader semua. Some kind of 3-way teaching technic. Disamping itu juga untuk menajamkan ingatan aku atas apa yang aku pelajari. Subjek ini lebih menjurus kepada Water Resources dan Water Pollution. Buat masa ini biar aku reserve sket topik ini, Insyaallah dalam minggu ini juga aku akan terangkan kembali apa yang telah aku pelajari. Yang ini pun penting bagi semua masyarakat supaya pertanggung jawaban ada keatas setiap bahu masyarakat kita.

Untuk kelas ini ada seramai 19 orang termasuk seorang pelajar dari Iran. Surprisingly mamat Iran ini berkebolehan bercakap Malayu. Malahan aku diberitahu oleh pensyarah dia ini dapat 100% dalam ujian Bahasa Melayu sebelum memasuki Program Master ini. Cakap/Debat dia juga hebat juga di dalam kelas. Hari Sabtu yang lepas boleh kita orang berdebat dengan dia hampir 2 jam semata mata kita mempunyai cara yang berbeza dalam menangani masalah air antara kita dengan negara asalnya. Kalau ikut pensyarah the discussion was very live but to some quater, it was so irritating. Buang masa ajer nak berdebat dengan dia.

Last Last semalam masa buat group discussion, aku diminta oleh pensyarah supaya jangan duduk satu kumpulan dengan Mamat Iran nih takut nanti kerja tak siap pasal asyik nak berdebat ajer. Di samping itu aku telah diminta oleh pensyarah supaya tidak duduk bersama dengan rakan kerja aku. Dia suruh split group supaya setiap kumpulan ada student yang dah ada pengalaman kerja bersama dengan pelajar yang terus buat Master dari undergrad programme.

Aku tak kisah. Kelas pun habis cepat. Jam 3.30pm dah habis instead of 6.30pm. Okay juga macam ini kalau kelas selabu habis awal. Ada can aku nak main takraw ker atau bola petang petang.

Walau apa apa pun, ia tetap memenatkan badab. Aku ingat nak ambil cuti ajer nak segarkan badan aku balik. Bukan nak jalan mana mana cuma nak relaks ajer. Nak bagi fresh kembali tenaga. Nanti boleh la aku siapkan kertas kerja untuk simposium dan juga assignment yang telah disuruh oleh pensyarah nanti.

Ok, nanti aku update lagi

Rupanya aku masih kurang sopan

Aku dah beberapa hari ini kurang sihat. Asalnya running nose dan sekarang dah sampai ketahap batuk batuk pulak.

Aku kalau batuk, macam orang kena batuk kering gitu. Selagi rasa irritate selagi tuh la aku batuk kuat kuat. Kalau macam kat iklan TV tu, kalau boleh digarukan, hendak ajer aku garukan tekak aku yang gatal ini. Bagi lega sket kegatalan itu.

Lozengees dah berapa banyak aku makan sampaikan tekak aku rasa semacam ajer tapi tekak aku masih gatal lagi. Phlegm aku sampai dah hijau pekat dah. Aku dah jumpa doktar awal awal lagi masa batuk aku baru nak jadi. Doktor cuma berikan aku ubat batuk dan clarinase ajer. Itu 3 hari yang lepas dan ubat pun dah habis, dan sakitnya tak baik baik lagi. Aku tahu kalau kahak dah hijau sepatutnya doktor akan berikan antibiotik.

Nih yang aku maleh nak pegi ke klinik lagi nih. Nak queue malas dan nak kesana pun malas. Ada separuh orang tuh dia sanggup berdehem dan telan balik kahak tuh. Aku bukan dari kalangan spesis tuh. Aku kalau batuk, kasi kuat kuat kasi bergegar kerongkong kasi kahak keluar lepas tuh aku ludah kan ajer kat luar. Kalau kat luar opis la kadang kadang tak sempat sempat aku ludah kan ajer kat longkang ke atau ke kaki lima. Time macam ini la kesopanan aku tak terkaver. Hampeh.

Tuh yg Arc selalu sound kat aku. Tak tengok keliling nak buang kahak. ........ hampeh ajer di rasa tengok aku.

Tak apa la akan aku belajar mengkontrol diri aku supaya tak buat begitu.

Terima Kasih semua. I luv you

Terima kasih kepada yang mengewish heppi birthday kat aku. Aku ingatkan selama ini yang sibuk tanya tanya tarikh lahir tuh saja ajer untuk sembang kosong rupanya masih ada yang mengenang juga tarikh lahir aku.

Si Angah antara yang terawal ucapkan Selamat Hari Lahir. Kemudian itu dari doktor gigi aku (kalau korang nak sentiasa dikenang pergilah ke Klinik Pergigian Tiew, kakak kepada kawan aku) dan yang paling terkujat aku terima lagu heppi birthday dari ntah sape antah. Dia terus menyanyi pakai playback player ajer.

Sebenarnya Arc nak belanja aku makan pada 3hb untuk sambut esok nya hari lahir aku. Oleh kerana aku ada urusan yang tak dapat dielakkan, aku cakapkan ajer tunggu esoknya ajerla. Lagi pun memang sepatutnya begitu lakan. Bukannya hari lahir aku 3 Julai. Kononnya nak sambut dari makan malam sampai la ke tengah malam la. Lepas tuh ehem ehem ........... maklum saja la kan ....... hahahahahahaha.

So Semalam hari lahir aku. Arc tak ambil cuti pun kerana aku perlu berurusan dengan UPM. Aku pergi untuk mendaftarkan diri untuk Program Master yang aku pohon. Alhamdulillah dapat juga aku sambung ke Master Program tuh. Harapan aku agar aku berjaya mengabiskan pengajian aku untuk menjadi teladan kepada anak anak aku nanti. Dalam aku menunggu Surat tawaran aku yang tertinggal dalam kete yang satu lagi (kete aku adik ipar pinjam), sempat juga aku ke Dr. Pet untuk merawat anak kucing aku yang telinga telah luka. Asalnya aku ingatkan luka pasal bergaduh dengan kucing orang.

Setelah membuat pemeriksaan doktor, doktor confirmkan yang anak kucing aku kena ear-mites. Kutu telinga yang menyebabkan telinga gatal selalu. Luka itu disebabkan kucing aku selalu menggaru telinganya. Yang Sarafina (kucing yang telinga luka) terpaksa dimasuk kan 'wad' untuk 2 malam. Lukanya itu membuatkan dia demam. Yang seekor lagi namanya Wolfie juga terkena jangkitan Ear-mites tetapi mashi sempat diselamatkan. JAdi doktor cuma mencuci telinganya serta meletakkan ear drops serta memberikan ubat cacing. Mahal juga rupanya rawatan kucing ini. Lebih mahal dari hantar orang sakit ke klinik.

Setelah segala urusan kucing aku selesai dan adik ipar aku menghantar surat tawaran aku itu krumah, petangnya aku mendaftar ke UPM. Ingatkan boleh selesai, Hari ini aku jumpa pensyarah pun tak settle lagi. Tunggu 15hb nanti untuk taklimat akhir.

Malam tadi Arc janji nak belanja makan di Chilis KLCC. Aku pergi ke KLCC bila segala urusan aku pada siangnya settle. Dia belanja dan aku orderkan. Satu fajhita nachos combo, satu monterey chicken untuk Arc dan satu chiken citrus yang ada prawn tuh. Starter dengan nachos tuh pun sebenarnya dah cukup mengenyangkan. Tapi aku manage juga untuk menghabiskannya. Terkensel aku diet aku malam tadi. Tak apala, dah wife aku sendiri nak belanjakan, aku makan ajer.

Rupanya tak habis di KLCC ajer. Kalau dulu aku buat surprise untuk Arc bersama kawan baiknya. malam tadi Arc pulak buat kat aku. Konon konon nak ambil barang kat rumah kawan dia tu. Baik punya plan dia sambut hari jadi kat rumah dia pulak. Siap dia import anak anak aku bersama dengan pembantu rumah aku lagi kerumahnya.

Aku dah tak larat lagi dah nak makan tapi aku suapkan juga makanan. Yelakan dah dia masak untuk aku. Kena la aku temankan suaminya makan. Waktu dah pukul 10.30 malam dah waktu tu. Kesian kat laki dia sanggup tunggu makan sehingga aku sampai. Lepas habis upacara potong kek semuanya dan masa nak balik remuah, si Arc pulak boleh tanya Surprise tak. Aku buat muka cool tak tahu .... hahahahahahahaha ....... yang sebenarnya memang terkejut aku.

Sebenarnya dalam hidup aku memang la tak ada celebrate sebegini dalam famili aku. Mak cuma sekadar tepon aje. Masa kecik kecik dulu mana nak ada celebrate begini. Tapi touching la bila dah tua tua begini ada juga spesis yang mengcelebrate aku.

To all, thank you and I luv you

Aku Pernah Biadab/ Secret aku dan sukan

Aku ringkaskan la apa yang aku nak tulis dalam satu entry nih. Sebabnya sendiri maklum la kan. Sibuk kat tempat keje. Nak buat kat rumah, tak ada lagi internet. Nak aku ambil pasang kat rumah takut jemu pulak. Almaklum keje internet ON memanjang. Jadi baca la apa yang aku dah ringkaskan.

Aku Pernah Kurang Ajar

Kecoh juga minggu lepas pasal negara telah dilabelkan sebagai negara yang kurang ajar. Ada antara kita yang menyatakan pertimbangan yang tidak adil diambil untuk mengecop kedudukan Malaysia dari segi kebiadapan itu sendiri.

Mungkin ada kebenaranya juga dan aku pula melihat dari perspektif yang berbeza. Aku cuba untuk belajar meningkatkan kesopanan aku dimata orang lain. Ada beberapa perkara aku kira orang lain juga harus buat supaya mata orang lain juga nampak kita punya kesopanan dah meningkat.

Seperti title diatas, Aku juga pernah kurang ajar. Pernah suatu ketika dahulu semasa di perantauan, aku dan teman teman berjalan di shopping mall di bandar konon femes dgn bolanya.

Negara sejuk jadi memang ada banyak pintu sebelum masuk ke dalam shopping mall itu sendiri. Satu ketika, sebagaimana rakyak Malaysia yang lain, aku, pada ketika itu berjalan menolak pintu shopping mall dan terus berjalan. Sedang aku melangkah satu-dua dari pintu, aku terdengar satu bunyi knock yang aku perasan agak kuat juga. Aku toleh ke belakang dan aku nampak seorang senior (org tua) sedang menggosokkan mukanya. Selepas itu orang tua itu mula mengomel yang bahasanya sendiri aku kurang mahir. Baru sampai sebulan maaa mana faham lagi accent org liverpudlian. Kemudian aku peratikan orang kat sekeliling aku memandang semacam ajer kat aku. Being a Malaysian yang pada masa itu tak tahu apa apa, dengan muka selamba ajer aku masuk dan berjalan jalan. Dalam hati ada juga perasan bersalah. Tapi apa kan daya aku tak tahu nak buat macamana aku diamkan ajer.

Malamnya aku berborak dengan seorang brother dalam Malay Speaking Circle kat tempat aku. Dia kata memang adab orang disitu yang mana sampai pintu akan terus pegang pintu sehingga kumpulankecil tadi habis melepasi pintu. Itu la adab yang aku belajar dari mereka. Aku pernah biadab dan aku belajar untuk berubah. Aku berubah.

Lagi satu jika aku dibahu jalan dan nampak seperti ingin melintas, kereta yang dipandu akan memperlahankan kenderaan dan berhenti untuk memberikan aku laluan menyeberangi jalan. Again, being a Malaysian pada masa itu, aku lintas ajer la kan. Terima kasih pun tak ada. Bukan apa, pada masa begitu kalau dah sejuk sejuk, tingkap kete memang tutup jadi kalau aku cakap T Q pun bukan dia nak dengar. Lama juga aku buat begitu sehinggala aku ditegur oleh Harry (kalau tak silap aku la, tokei kedai perabut 2nd hand bawah rumah aku) kata aku sepatutnya mengucapkan T Q pada orang yang berikan aku jalan utk melintas. Kete tuh sanggup berhenti walaupun jalan tuh tak ada zebra crossing. Malu beb bila kena tegur begitu. Harry ajar aku mengucapkan terima kasih sambil melintas.......... THUMBS UP kepada pemandu kereta itu.

Begitu juga kalau di traffic light. Pada masa aku disana, tempat aku tuh traffic light dia memang simple. Simpang empat, traffic light ada lampu untuk jalan terus ajer tak ada traffic light untuk membelok ke kanan. Kebiasaanya, mereka akan memberikan kita laluan dulu sebelum kete dari arah hadapan mengambil jalan terus dari kita. Harry ajar THUMBS UP.

Pernah dengar iklan tak kat radio pasal ada seorang mamat tuh bengang kerana ada orang tak senyum dan mengankat tangan apabila kita memotong queue. Aku kira itu sama la perasaan pemandu di wilayah eropah jika kita tak berbuat demikian.

Selama aku belajar di sana, tak pernah sekali aku lihat mat salleh main hon kete bila tersangkut ke atau keta bermasalah di jalan. Mereka sabar tunggu dan potong tanpa menjeling dan juga honkan kete. Kita kat sini bagaimana.

Aku pernah biadab dan aku belajar untuk berubah supaya orang lain nampak aku dah tak biadab. Untuk lain lain perkara itu jangan la difikirkan sangat. Macam TPM cakap, kita terima dan kita belajar untuk berubah.

Perkara yang aku rasa korang patut tahu

Malam tadi aku dan Arc main futsal bersama Angah dan keluarganya di tempat biasa Ampang Sport Planet. Jauh tuh datang dari Bdr Baru Bangi.

Malam tadi kira OK la pasal main start jam 9.00pm. Sempat juga aku sampai walau lewat sedikit.

Apa yang aku nak beritahu kat sini pernah sekali masa soi Angah setkan main futsal jam 8.00pm. Punya la kelam kabut aku dengan nak hantar anak aku balik rumah dulu solat maghrib sat dengan baju keje dan nak memecut kat Ampang tuh.

Pasal masih tak dapat tukar pakai keje lagi aku decided nak tukarkan Ampang Sport Planet ajer. Nak dijadikan cerita, jalan masa tuh sangat la jammmmmmmmm. Hampeh betul aku rasa. Aku takut tak cukup lama main. Tak best la macam tuh. Si Arc tak turut main malam itu kerana kawan lama dia nak jumpa somewhere in KLCC dan aku terus ajer main futsal.

Aku congak congak kalau aku bersiap kat tempat futsal nanti jadi lambat, masa kete tengah sibut kat round about di makro cheras tuh (aku dari arah kajang), aku kuar keta dan ambil beg sukan aku aku letakkan kat depan.

Ko rasa apa aku buat? Cuba teka la dulu kalau terror. ...... . Pasal masa tuh dah gelap, aku dengan konfidennya menukar baju aku dalam keta. Tukar baju ajaer tak apa. Sekali kete berhenti jalan kejap, aku buka baju. Jalan konsentrat bawa keta. Berhenti lagi aku sarung baju sukan. Berhenti aku buka tali pinggan, butnag dan zip. Jalan konsentart dengan kete. Berhenti lagi aku angkat punggung sket, aku lurutkan suar ke peha. Jalan aku kosentrat kagi kat kete. Ada MPV ker SUV ker kat sebelah keta aku buat mcm konsentart ajer. Kete tinggi maaaa nanti depa nampak aku buat terus accident pulak nanti hahahahahaha. Kete berhenti lagi aku lurutkan habis suar aku. Kali ini tinggal baju sukan dgn spenda ajer hahahahahaha. Bila keta berhenti sekali lagi, aku keluarkan seluar trek dan lipatkan pangkal kaki supaya senang aku sarung kelak. Bila dah nak sampai bulatan tuh aku masih berseluar dalam ajer. Harap harap queue nak masuk panjang la supaya sempat aku tak menggangu orang kat belakang. Nasib memang baik pasal queue panjang jadi dapat la aku sarung seluar trek terus. Sekali zassssssssssss. Hahahaha. Yang tinggal cuma stokin ajer. Itu pun aku pakai masa kat traffic light nak masuk ke ampang dari MRR2.

Banyak masa aku dapat jimat woooooooooo.. At the end of the day aku dapat la main dalam 40minit.

Sukan Dart

Esok aku akan mengelolakan sukan dart utk karnival sukan tempat keje aku. Kelam kabut aku dibuatnya pasal aku terpaksa mempercepatkan waktu main kepada esok. Kelas MSc Engineering aku akan bermula pada 8hb Julai jadi takkan la aku nak kenselkan pendaftaran masuk ke Universiti semata mata pasal sukan dart nih. Oh tidak. Kelam kabut macamana pun sempat juga aku tulis entry nih.

sebenarnya byk juga aku nak tuliskan tapi aku sambung ajer kemudian nanti

2 Jam tahan kencing

Jumaat yang lepas, aku hangin ajer satu badan. Bengang ajer aku dengan keadaan di KL bila masa hari hujan.

2 jam aku tersangkut dalam kereta masa nak ambil Arc balik dari keje. Jam dari Tol Sg Besi sampai la ke KL sendiri.

Aku yang paling hangin sekali bila polis trafik dok sibuk lepaskan keta dari arah lain. Dari arah aku tak juga dilepaskan. Hangin betul aku. Dia tak terasa ke ada orang lain yang terasa nak terkencing ker atau nak terberak ker yang dia tahan kereta dari satu arah ajer.

Dalam pada tuh aku tengok ada orang dengan selamba ajer gunakan contra lane nak potong Q. Hampeh betul. Sakit ajer hati aku tengok kelakuan macam itu.

Ko orang pernah tak tertanya, agaknya laaa kan, kenapa kat sini polis, detektif ker pegawai polis tak pakai lampu/siren polis macam detektif detektif dalam cerita orang Amerika. Ala lampu bila nak pakai atau beraksi ajer yg letak atas bumbung kereta tuh. Aku rasa laaa kan kalau kat sini mahu ramai yang beli kat Jalan Jasar nanti dan berlagak macam polis potong Q kat depan.

Huhhhhhh geram aku.

My Symphony

My Symphony

To live content with small means
To seek elegance rather than luxury, and
refinement rather than fashion;
To be worthy, not respectable, and
wealthy not rich;
To study hard, think quitely, talk gently, act frankly;
To listen to stars and birds, to babes and sages, with open heart;
To bear all cheerfully, to do all bravely, await occasions, hurry never;
In a word, to let the spiritual, unbidden and unconscious,
grow up through the uncomman.
This is to be My Symphony.

Jangan korang perasan pulak aku dah pandai bersajak pulak.

Sajak ini aku jumpa masa aktiviti 5S kat workstation aku dan terjumpa la aku salinan kertas dari training 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. Simfoni ini adalah karya William Ellery Channing.

I choose to be just like the person in this symphony.

Bola! Bukan ..........

Keje memang tengah banyak nih. Tapi kalau di layan pun memang tak akan habis jadi aku nak lari sket dari keje.

Bukannya sebab aku mengantuk tengok bola pun. Game Brazil vs Australia pun aku tengok sampai half time ajer. Game hampeh jadi malas nak buang masa tengok game hampeh macam itu.

Balik tido dan peluk Arc lagi best.

Masa nih pun aku tak nak cite pasal bola. Not that I am not excited nor have the passion for the games tapi rata rata tahu perkembangan bola sekarang ini lebih dari aku sendiri tahu. Maklumla rumah tak ada Astro jadi kadang kadang game yang tak sempat tengok tuh tahu keputusan lepas baca Soccernet.

Minggu lepas kawan Arc ada hantar 2 ekor anak kucing. Memang comel baka tempatan katanya. Tapi bila ditengokkan bulunya macam baka luar. Atau mungkin sudah berkacuk antara baka luar dengan tempatan jadi menyebabkan bulu kucing itu banyak dan kembang. Mata tak adalah biru seperti kucing parsi tapi bulu lebat sepertinya.

Arc sebenarnya bukanlah penggemar kucing. Tapi pernah berborak dengan satu family yang memang suka membela kucing dan banyak pengatahuan tentang kucing maka Arc adalah noted certain thing yang dia rasa dia tak tahu sebelum ini.

Apabila satu hari kami berziarah di rumah kawan Arc ini terpandangla kami beberapa ekor kucing yang cantik cantik dan terus kami beritahu kepada kawan Arc jika ada anak kucing baru, berikan sebarang seekor dua kepada kami.

So minggu lepas kami dah dapat 2 ekor anak kucing ini. Si Arc punya la bersemangat sampai belikan sangkar kucing dengan pasir untuk tahi sekali. Sebenarnya kucing ini untuk anak anak kami juga. Si Liyana suka benar layan kucing kucing kalau kami makan di li luar atau di kedai mamak. Si Shasha kakaknya pula takut akan sikucing. Bila dah ada kucing kat rumah kami lihat si Shasha dah berani pegang kucing dan dah berani usap usap kucing. Sebelum ini dia memang penakut dan kalau makan di kedai yang ada kucing, kalau boleh kaki dia nak letak kat meja tuh.

Si Liyana nih memang brutal. Tak takut langsung. Dia nih memang suka pets. Dulu ikan. Dah aku siapkan kolam ikan serta ikannya sekali dan sekarang kucing pulak. Jangan dia minta Holland Guinea atau pun hamster lepas ini sudah.

Berbalik kepada kisah kucing tadi, hendak dijadikan cerita kucing kucing itu pernah la hilang dari hari Khamis hinggala ke hari Sabtu. Kucing itu dapat loloskan dirinya dari sangkar yang Arc belikan itu. Aku siap dah suruh Arc printkan notis Kitten lost untuk aku edarkan ke kejiranan aku. Siap plan nak masukkan dalam news group persatuan penduduk lagi tuh. Aku dengan anak anak aku pusing la beberapa lorong naik basikal cari kucing kucing tersebut. Liyana dengan basikalnya, Shasha dengan Basikalnya dan aku dengan basikal aku. SAmbil pusing pusing si Shasha panggil nama nama kucing kami.

Tapi ntah macamana ntah mulut ini tergerak nak bertanyakan dengan seorang jiran yang memang ada bela kucing perihal kucing kucing anak aku yang hilang itu. Terus dia jawab isteri dia ada jaga dua ekor kucing baru yang diselamatkannya dari digelek kereta. Bila dia bawa kucing itu ke aku terus kompem yang itu memang kucing kucing yang hilang itu. Alhamdulillah selamat kucing itu. Dia tak tahu yang kami baru membela kucing kerana setahu dia dan isterinya kami memang tak ada kucing. Itu yang buat isterinya terus bela kucing tersebut.

Lepas itu kalau boleh isteri dia ingin seekor darinya. Aku cakapla kucing kucing itu untuk anak anak aku. Jadi aku cuba minta dengan kawan isteri aku lagi seekor kalau dia tak keberatan untuk berikan kepada kami. Bukan tak nak beri yang dah sedia ada, tapi aku sendiri tak nak anak aku berebutan kucing pula jika anak kucing itu tinggal seekor.

Bila dah sebut begitu, jiran lain pun nak juga kucing seperti itu. Kucing kucing itu memang comel disebabkan bulunya yang lebat tetapi mempunyai mata seekor kucing tempatan. Setelah aku dapat kucing kucing itu terus aku dawaikan bahagian antara jaring sangkar itu supaya kucing kucing itu tak boleh loloskan dirinya lagi.

Pernah tak ko orang tengok cerita Barbie: The Princess and The Pauper. Itu adalah cerita kegemaran Liyana sehinggakan kucing kucing yang kami bela dia namakan Sarafina dan Wolfie seperti nama nama kucing dalam cerita itu.

Demam Bola-Bengang depan TV

Aku memang bengang betul la dgn stesenTV nasional nih. Boleh pulak tak ada satu apa pun perlawanan England kat TV. Hampeh betul.

Bukanla aku sokong England pun tapi sebagai peminat sukan bola, tak seharusnya game game sebegini diabaikan.

Ker dah ada agreement pact antara TV nasional dengan ASTRO untuk menghalang semua game England dengan mana mana team di kaca TV nasional?

Mulanya aku ingat semua game jam 9.00pm tuh tak akan keluar TV nasional. Mungkin pasal prime time aku rasa logik la. Tapi bila game jam 12.00am pun depa sekat, nih dah kes melampau.

Kenapa? Depa ingat ramai tengok EPL depa ingat kita ramai sokong England ker? With all the talent England will not go far. Kat Malaysia ini lebih ramai orang sokong the team like Brazil, Belanda, Chekz, Italy dan Germany lebih dari team England tu sendiri.

Hampeh betul

Nak ambik ASTRO pun bukannya aku cop duit. Tambahan pula dengan adanya chanel chanel yang aku tak gemarkan (macam party chit chat bersama org gila azwan ali) serta AF (aku orait ajer kalau tengok konsert tuh tapi yg tak boleh tahan tuh dia punya diari tuh yg buat orang leka ajer depan TV) tuh dan juga kartun network tuh membuatkan aku fikir banyak kali nak ambik ASTRO tuh.

Sanggup aku turun ke stadium 24 jam mamak nak tengok bola dari aku ambik ASTRO. Tapi tu la diskriminasi media yang diamalkan. Buat aku jadi menyampah dengan ASTRO. Ker aku nak menyampahkan Media Prima dengan RTM.

Hampeh betul semuanya

Weekly Healthy Gathering

Ada banyak juga perkara yang nak diceritakan sepanjang aku off dari berblogging sampaikan aku rasa perkara perkara itu dah jadi basi dah.

Dan bila dah jadi begini sebenarnya tak tahu juga mana yang nak dimulakan. Langsung jadi hampeh.

Tak apa, aku mulakan dengan futsal la. Jumaat yang lepas, Angah ajak main futsal. Aku dengan Arc macam dah jadi sebahagian keluarga dia pulak. Mana tidaknya yang main tuh adik beradik dia laki bini sama dengan kawan dekat adik dia.

Best pulak aku tengok keluarga Angah macam ini. Cheap and healthy gathering gitu. Bukan setakat bapak Angah turun (kadang kadang la), Biras dia pun turut turun habis. Satu ayat yang sesuai (tiru pagi di ERA) SEMPOIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIi.

Bila tengok macam ini terasa family bonding Angah memang kuat. Mungkin disebabkan keserasian keluarga yang gemar bersukan menjadikan weekly event Angah meriah.

Aku dan keluarga aku punya minat dan kecenderungan yang berbeza. Aku minat bermain bola sepak juga tenis, abang aku kriket dan juga saxafon, adik aku tak tahu minat apa apa. Arwah bapa aku suka memancing (aku juga suka memancing tapi Arc tak berapa gemar aku pergi memancing) dan mak aku suka menjahit. So macamana la nak buat healthy gathering macam ini pasal kami punya minat dan kecenderungan yang berbeza.

Yang aku tahu gathering kita orang termasuk adik beradik mak aku tak lain dan tak bukan gerenti pasal makan. Tuh yang buatkan badan aku seperti di pam pam seketika dahulu.

Nak jadikan cerita, badan yang dipam pamkan ini lah yang berlaga dengan si Wan buah hatinya si Angah. Bukan main risau si Angah. Mesti dia ingat aku saje ajer nak hentak si Wan tuh. Aku nak rembat gol tiba tiba dia datang ke arah aku. Kena la pasal aku kalau rembat bola kena balancekan badan dengan tangan. Tu la angaknya sampai tersiku si Wan tuh. Sebenarnya aku bagi dia peluang untuk usap dan belai si Wan tuh, tuh yang tersiku kat badan si Wan tuh. Wan pulak pandai berlakon, sampai sekarang mengadu sakit. Sebabnya si Angah belum belai lagi dada si Wan ........ hahahahahahahahaha.

Nanti ada masa terluang nanti aku turun lagi main futsal dengan keluarganya si Angah. Till then

TREACE ANGAH

Cuti Cuti Malaysia - Lain hari

Beberapa hari yang lepas (sebenarnya sepanjang cuti sekolah) memang amat memenatkan. Kena mengkover boss aku yang bercuti cuti Malaysia bersama keluarganya. Saja ajer aku tak ambil cuti untuk mengkover kan cuti yang konon konon banyak aku nak ambil sepanjang piala dunia nanti.

Sibuk juga orang tanya aku tak bawak anak anak aku jalan jalan ker. Hehehehehehe, bukannya aku cop duit nak bawa dia orang jalan jalan selalu. Hantar mereka kat rumah mak aku dengan mak mertua aku pun aku rasa dah kira orait la tuh.

Tambahan pula kalau aku masuk gym on the week end, biasanya anak-anak aku akan ikut sekali untuk mandi kat swimming pool. Anak anak aku kalau jalan jalan pun buat masa ini bukan nak kisah sangat dengan tempat yang di lawatinya. Asalkan tempat tinggal/hotel ada kolam mandi anak anak aku dah excited tahap gaban dah. Tak heran dengan benda lain. Tak keluar hotel pun tak apa.

Tak apalah nanti ada duit lebih sket ingat nak jalan jalan ke Cameron Highland. Lama dah aku tak ke sana. Nak tengok apa perubahan yang dah berlaku kat sana. Last aku pegi Cameron Highland masa aku ikut rombongan pengakap sekolah berserta pandu puteri ke satu sekolah di area area Brinchang. Buat perkhemahan bersama. Itu la dia first time aku sampai ke sana which was more than 15 yrs ago.

Aku wonder apa yg menarik disana selain Ladang Teh dan juga Ladang bunga ros serta strawberi Malaysia. Harap harap juga jalan dah lebar pasal masa rombongan aku sekolah dulu aku pernah terperangkap selama hampir 4 jam disebabkan tanah runtuh di sana. Hampeh betul aku rasa masa tuh. Untuk buang masa kita orang nyanyi lagu rock ramai ramai. Masa tuh lagu tengah popular lagu kumpulan SOFEA dengan tajuk Bunga Padang Pasir serta lagu lagu kumpulan SEARCH. Gitar tak dak pasal masing masing masa tuh tak pandai main gitar. Juga diselang seli dengan lagu pop yeh yeh yang telah bermusim sekejap sekitar tahun itu.

Cikgu hangin ajer pasal kita orang bising. Dia nak mengorat cikgu pandu puteri pun asyik kena potong stim dengan kita orang ajer. Kita orang tahu akal cikgu pengakap kita orang nak buat perkehemahan bersama pandu puteri tuh pasal cikgu kita orang nak mengorat cikgu baru yang jaga pandu puteri. Hehehehehe ........... malang betul cikgu pengakap kita orang hahahahaha.

Buat sementara waktu ini biarkan aku siapkan ajer keje keje aku. Nak kena submit paper utk simposium, nak kena prepare pendaftaran kemasukan ke UPM, nak kena plan kan sukan jabatan dan lagi dan lagi dan lagi. Aku siapkan keje aku pass tuh aku pulak bercuti cuti malaysia and certainly after this world cup.

Usahawan Sekolah

Beberapa hari yang lepas aku membaca kembali buku Rich Dad Poor Dad karya Robert Kiyosaki. Buku mengenai financial literacy yang biasanya tak di ajar disekolah sekolah juga di Cambrigde mahupun Oxford.

Dalam satu bahagian itu aku tertarik dengan ayat dari Rich Dad "study smart so you can own a corporation" yang bertentangan dengan pendidikan resmi dari Poor Dad "study snart so you can work with big corporation". Aku jadi tertarik dengan usaha Robert dan Mike anak Rich Dad yang berusaha untuk memulakan perniagaan semenjak dari sekolah lagi.

Beberapa minggu lepas aku terlihat siri baru Dunia Baru yang mengisahkan kehidupan kampus remaja yang baru masuk Unisel. Salah seorangnya itu amat mengagumi Donald Trump dan menjadi pengedar air SITO. Selang beberapa episod pula masa orentasi itu mamat ini dgn Peirre Andre register kat salah satu persatuan dan mendapat cenderahati berupa minuman mineral dalam setiap beg pendaftaran. Kerana akal terlalu panjang untuk menjual, dia ini re-register banyak kali, so banyakla dia dapat air mineral yang boleh dijual kemudian hari.

Lantas aku teringat kisah kisah masa lalu semasa di asrama ada antara rakan aku juga menjadi usahawan yang "berjaya". Semasa aku bersekolah dulu, untuk lelaki la tak tahu aku perempuan buat apa, mereka ini juga berjaja. Banyak untung wo ........ loaded beb dia orang ini.

Antara yang dijual mengikut kefamesan barang

1. Mee segera Bismi - sebab dia murah 30 sen satu
2. Mee Segera Maggi - dia mahal sikit dari Bismi harga 40 sen satu
3. Tapi kan sebenarnya yang paling top adalah rokok. Rokok dunhill dan gudang garam yang paling laris. Benson & Hedges kata dia orang utk orang orang tua ajer. Betul kut pasal arwah bapak aku memang hisap rokok B&H.
4. Heater - Untuk masak Maggi - satu RM 12.

Masak Maggi dalam baldi cuci pakaian, sabar ajer la aku beramai ramai. Macam kenduri wo koridor asrama selepas pukul 11.30pm.

Tapi sayang, usahawan usahawan yang berjaya ini hanya berjaya berniaga kat sekolah ajer. Semuanya yang berniaga dulu, yang berjaya menjejaki cara Poor Dad dalam buku Robert itu.

Bila la depa depa ini nak own corporation sendiri

MyTeam vs Malaysia

Kononnya aku nak ke stadium untuk tengok perlawanan bola tersebut. Tetapi memandangkan aku ada hal yang nak diuruskan di Seremban petang Ahad tuh. Aku simpankan ajer hasrat. Kalau sempat aku terus ke Stadium. Kalau tak aku tengok ajerla kat rumah.

Walaupun Arc tak berapa meminati bola, tetapi untuk siri/program MyTeam malam malam tuh dia suka layan gak. Jadi dia pun tengok la juga malam tuh bersama aku. Tapi tak adalah seghairah aku menjerit ke atau mengomel masa tengok bola tuh.

Umum tahu MyTeam kalah. Utusan tag line Tahniah Malaysia, Syabas MyTeam, Berita Harian pula Skuad Malaysia Menang Tipis. Apakah sinonimnya tag ini di dada akhbar Malaysia. BANYAK sebenarnya cuma ada yang tak nampak apa dia lebih lebih lagi pegawai pegawai kanan FAM. Ego bodoh!

Anak aku yang tak tahu main bola pun tahu menilai kekuatan dalaman yang ada pada MyTeam. Seperti kata Shebby, program ini bukan untuk menunjukkan kehebatannya mengemudi pasukannya dengan masa singkat tetapi lebih kepada ingin membawa sukan nombor satu ini ke persada yang telah lama kita lepaskan.

Dari kelompok 80 pasukan terbaik dunia sekarang telah turun ke pasukan ke 130+ dunia. Mana silapnya aturan perjalanan bolasepak kita. Mana perginya kewibawaan kita yang pernah menjadi jaguh bolasepak dirantau ini.

Sebenarnya inilah yang ingin dikupas oleh masyarakat melalui program MyTeam ini. Memang tujuannya untuk mencari kelemahan kita sendiri. Bukan mencari sebab untuk memalukan. Jika kita tak mengaku mana kelemahan kita mana bisa kita perbetulkan keadaan.

Ada pegawai Ego bodoh tak dapat menerima hakikat ini.

Aku dulu pernah bergaduh dengan orang ramai semata mata aku memberikan kepercayaan kepada skuad Hatem Sousi. Padahal aku baru ajer masuk kerja dah pandai lorat dengan orang orang yang dah lama kerja kat kilang tuh. Aku sendiri sanggup ambil cuti untuk melihat mereka bermain di Stadium Shah Alam dalam Piala Dunia Remaja yang diadakan pada tahun 1996. Ake defend mereka walaupun kalah. Aku kata mereka boleh menjadi tulang belakang kepada skuad senior yang sedia ada. Itu la dia Gilbert Cassidy, Saravanan, Khalid Jamlus, Chow See Yen. Mereka mereka ini yang kan mencorakkan masa depan bolasepak negara. Memang mereka kalah tetapi mereka bermain seperti orang Eropah.

Tetapi bola tetap bola. Keputusan tetap menjadi ukuran walau baik mana pun main. Kalau kalah ajer tak menang pun wajar di diagnos. Aku mula menjadi menyampah bila mereka mula bermain untuk negeri masing. Hilang semangat seperti mana mereka didalam skuad remaja dulu.

Keluarga aku dulu memang rapat dengan Dato' Mazlan Harun, bekas pengurus pasukan Selangor. Jadi sedikit sebanyak aku tahu perjalanan Bola Sepak Negara. Di tempat aku membesar, aku membesar dan bermain bersama Assrof Hanafiah, tinggal dikawasan yang sama dengan Yap Wai Loon dan kadang kadang bermain bersama Mat Zan Mat Aris, bekas Jurulatih Wilayah Persekutuan dan Terengganu juga bekas pertahanan Malaysia.

Bola Sepak dan kehidupan bukan baru bagi aku. Aku lihat mereka ini bukan berfikiran professional. Bagi mereka bolasepak itu bukan satu status yang seharusnya diletakkan di tempatnya. Bagi mereka adalah mendapatkan duit sambil bergembira main bola. Memang bola adalah satu permainan tapi sayang mereka tidak menterjermah permainan ini kepada satu pekerjaan mulia yang harus diletakkan ke persada yang sepatutnya. Mereka gembira mendapat duit untuk dibelanjakan, mereka gembira dilabelkan sebagai budak disko. (Tak adil jika aku katakan Mat Zan begitu kerana yang aku kenal dia, memang dia ini berdedikasi. So minus him)

Aku jadi penat mengenang perangai mereka begini. Aku jadi penat dengan usaha Pegawai FAM yang tak kemana. Kesudahannya aku jadi menyampah dengan segalanya bersangkutan mereka.

Mana silapnya. Anak didik yang tak berdisiplin? Pegawai yang hilang arah atau mungkin akal? Aku percaya jika kita memanggil Scolari pun dengan adanya campur tangan FAM. Pasukan Malaysia tetap macam itu. Kecuali jika FAM melepaskan segalanya kepada kepakaran mereka. Biar jurulatih itu sendiri cari Physical Trainer dia sendiri, biar dia cari Physio dia sendiri, biar dia cari dietician dia sendiri. Jangan ada campur tangan FAM. Apa yang FAM boleh buat propose ajer nama kepada Jurulatih Bagus itu. Duduk belajar pandai pandai dan dengar kata pendapat orang.

Berbalik ke perlawanan malam tadi. MyTeam seharusnya berbangga dengan pencapaian mereka. Walau orang kata passing hancur, walau orang kata permainan tak compose, walau orang kata masih mentah untuk ditembungkan dengan pasukan kebangsaan, yang mengata itu la yang sepatutnya mengukur badan sendiri dulu. Jika dengan pasukan yang serba serbi ini mempunyai cela boleh memberikan tentangan kepada pasukan Malaysia, aku tidak hairan jika Tahun depan kita kalah dengan Maldives. Kita dah pernah kalah dengan Vietnam yang baru bangkit dari perang, dengan Laos yang masih mundur dan dengan Lebonan yang masih dalam kancah perang. Dengan segala kelebihan, kita masih tak dapat menterjemahkan dalam bentuk kemenangan, kita masih di rank yang sama dan semakin teruk saban hari.

Kepada FAM. Ukur baju di rumah dulu sebelum pergi ke kedai kain kelak silap kita yang malu. Dengan kata lain, biar kalah dulu dengan amatur dalam negara sebelum kalah di luar negara. Lagi malu dan point untuk ranking dunia pun menurun.

Untuk malam tadi

Arun @ Robinho Man of the Match tapi aku lebih suka dengan Fairuz. Untuk pasukan negeri atau kelab Lihat Fairuz, Arun, Hasmizam, Azmi, Jeremy dan Amir untuk pasukan anda. They deserve a place in a league squad

Minggu yang melemaskan - minggu lepas

Betul betul sibuk aku sepanjang minggu lepas. Aku kena preparekan satu slide presentation untuk bos aku dan aku sendiri kena buat presentation untuk tutup kes problem yang telah lama kami dapat simpulkan.

2 presentation yang sangat meletihkan otak. Alhamdulillah kedua dua presentation itu telah berjaya menutup kes dalam minit mesyuarat yang selalu merimaskan bos aku dan kami di dalam unit kami. Paling menggembirakan kami satu kes yang menuntut untuk membetulkan keadaan tempat kerja dengan menggunakan alat surveillance control and data acquisation (scada) telah berjaya menghapuskan keraguan tatacara proses berhubung dengan perseketiran kelembapan di tempat kerja. Masalah yang telah dibahaskan atau digaduhkan dari 1997 lagi. Seperti melontar sebiji batu kena kepada 2 burung.

Tapi sebenarnya bukanlah nak disengajakan. Cuma dalam masa pengumpulan maklumat kami perhatikan dapat membuat kesimpulan yang kedua duanya itu ada bersangkut rapat dan kedua duanya boleh diselasaikan sekali. Dan yang paling menggembirakan aku, kerja ini sepatutnya dilakukan oleh unit M&E tetapi dapat disudahi oleh kami dari unit C&G. Puas bila dapat ucapan terima kasih dari top management dan bos. Heiiiiiii ....... dalam perkara seperti ini, dapat ucapan sedemikian pun dah cukup bagus pasal depa nih kedekut nak keluarkan ayat Terima Kasih apatah lagi sambil pat shoulder.

Cukupla pasal kerja. 2 ~ 3 hari ini aku nak ringankan otak sat. Sementelah bos aku cuti hari ini, pressure pun kurang sket boleh la aku mengupdatekan blog aku sket sket. Rasanya total minute aku spend kat tag joe pun dalam 12 minit kot sepanjang minggu lepas. That was record low. Hari ini aku tak tau la sampai berapa lama aku akan lepak kat tag joe. Kerja ada juga nak kena settlekan cuma yang leganya bos aku tak ada la mengomel kat aku bila nak buat itu bila nak buat ini. Tak la berselirat dalam kepala otak aku nih nak rancang kerja. Aku siapkan la aku punya hal dulu. Selalunya tengah aku dok siapkan kerja aku biasanya bos aku mula la tanya kerja orang lain kat aku. Memang la aku ketua unit C&G tapi engineer2 lain pun tahu juga buat kerja depa tuh. Sepatutnya tak perlu la nak tanyakan update kat aku tiap tiap 15 minit. Fening aku. Action items ada dalam white board dan selalu dibincangkan masa de-briefing setiap petang. Tahu la kami laksanakan tugas. Tapi ya lakan dah tugas bos nak pastikan semua keje mengikut apa yang engineer sendiri tetapkan, kena la layan .............. kalau tak nanti hujung tahun appraisal teruk hahahahahahaha....... kena pulak charge insubordination pulak nanti kalau aku tak ikut cakap dia. Naya ajer.

Cukupla cite pasal kerja. Entry yang selepas ini aku nak cite pulak pendapat aku pasal MyTeam vs Malaysia. Tapi apa apa hal aku nak intai technician aku buat keje ke mengular. Nanti aku sambung balik

Game Tennis

Sabtu yang lepas telah diadakan pertandingan tenis tertutup dalam jabatan kami ini. Perlawanan ini lebih kepada persedian untuk menghadapi Sukan Syarikat yang dijangka bermula pada Bulan Jun nanti.

Pasukan terdiri dari 10 pasukan dengan 5 pasukan setiap kumpulan. Permainan akan dijalankan secara round robin dengan johan dan naib johan kumpulan pergi ke peringkat separuh akhir.


Pemain juga dikehendaki campur dengan 10 orang yang dikenali bagus main akan mengundi pasangannya yang tak bagus main. Baru la fair kononnya. Pasukan kami memang sentiasa johan dalam pertandingan syarikat kami dan kami hantar 4 wakil ke sukan antara agensi Kementerian Sains. Cuma tahun lepas ajer kami tak dapat memenangi apa apa pasal ada beberapa pemain tak dapat turun pada saat saat akhir kerana terpaksa troubleshoot egp dan process problem. Tak dapat guna pemain gantian pasal nama dah submit sebelum game bermula dan dapat bantahan dari pihak lawan. Sebenarnya depa gerun jumpa dengan pasukan kami,

Aku telah diundi bersama seorang perempuan. Okay la pasal dia nih pun reserve main mix double utk sukan antara jabatan dalam syarikat kami. Tetapi bila mengenangkan ada 2 lagi kumpulan yang pemain kurang-bagusnya itu sebenarnya main lebih baik dari partner aku, aku terus gabra sat. Ye la walaupun main nak enjoy tapi aku nak juga jaga aku punya rank dalam team aku. Dan menjadikan aku lebih panik nih ada dua orang engineer masuk yang kononnya main tak bagus rupanya main bagus macam kita orang yang dah biasa main. Alasannya dia orang kata main tak bagus pasal dia dah dengar banyak pasal team kita orang nih tiap tiap tahun juara (kecuali tahun lepas) jadi dia ingat kami main bagus macam pro atau paling kurang pun state player. Itu yang dia rasa rendah diri sket tuh dan terus mengaku tak pandai main.

Kami teruskan main dan akhirnya seperti yang dijangka atas kertas memang memihak kepada empat team yang dirasakan menang sebelum permainan bermula. Aku dapat juga masuk ke separuh akhir walaupun ankle aku rasa sakit akibat tackle yang aku terima main bola sebulan yang lepas.

Boleh kata dalam game ini untuk sampai ke separuh akhir memang aku la yang kena bekerja keras. Partner, aku suruh jaga kat depan net untuk wipe terus bola kat depan. Aku cover belakang untuk return atau stroke. Strategy menjadi la untuk round robin tapi bukan untuk separuh akhir. Pasal depa depa semua nih pun memang rank bagus lagi dari aku memang wajar la depa menang. Aku tetap puas hati pasal matlamat pun nak masuk separuh akhir.

Main bermula dari 8.30am dan habis jam pukul 3.30pm. Penat gila aku main hari tuh. Arc dengan budak budak panggil ke swimming pool pun aku cakap tak larat dah nak pegi kesitu walaupun tak jauh dari tempat keje aku. Aku nak balik, mandi dan nak tidur. Penat wehhh

Nak simpan tenaga untuk lawan bola pulak hari Ahad dgn Team dari MMU. Puas hati aku main dengan Yuran RM10 Ringgit aku dapat bersukan, dapat Baju T-Shirt dan dapat payung hadiah masuk ke separuh akhir.

Paling aku suka untuk tenis semalam ajer aku dapat bakar kalori sekurang kurangnya 1200 kalori. Paling Arc terkejut tengok muka aku kena bakar dengan matahari, merah hitam muka dengan lengan aku. Tapi aku puas................

Mad Sale atau Orang Gila nak beli sale

Semalam Arc cuti. MC kononnya. Okayla kot kalau nak bercuti rehat. Memang dia susah nak dapat cuti. Al maklum kerja dalam operasi syarikat memang payah nak cuti. Kena pulak inquiry masuk banyak memang dia sentiasa serba salah nak ambil cuti. Penyudahnya MC. Senang, bos pun takkan tanya banyak.

Tapi tak tahu la aku dia punya MC memang sajer ajer dia rancang atau pun pasal sale kat Jusco Puchong tuh pun aku tak sure.

Petang Dia talipon aku, kata dia akan ke Jusco dengan adik dia. kemudian suruh aku tunggu kat opis bila abis keje pasal dia nak berbelanja dapur dengan aku samada kat Giant ataupun Tesco.

Petang tuh tunggu punya tunggu tak juga sampai dan tak lama lepas pukul 6.30pm baru Arc talipon minta aku pulak ke Jusco untuk ambil dia disana. Cehh ........ dah tahu macam tuh minta la aku terus kesana tak payah la aku tunggu lama lama kat court tennis tempat aku keje tuh.

Aku start kete terus ke Jusco Puchong. Fuh jammed jalan tuh. Dari Persimpangan Puchong dgn Highway Bukit Jalil ke Jusco tuh pun dah ambik masa dekat 20minit. Polis berkawal tapi kalau dah ramai umat macam tuh, memang tengok ajer la.

Dah sampai Jusco, ada hal lagi dengan parking. Menyampah betul aku kalau sale macam ini. Dekat lima minit juga aku mencari parking. Susah sangat aku park kete aku kat trolley bay. Pasall la ko Jusco. Tapi aku tengok kosong ajer bay tuh, mungkin sebat tak cukup trolley kut pasal umat yg gila shopping nih 10 kali lebih dari jumlah trolley yg dia ada.

Sale nih sebenarnya untuk Ahli ahli Jusco ajer tapi perghhhhhh ramainya. Terkenang aku masa sale IKEA dulu masa mula nak pindah dari One Utama ke Mutiara Damansara. Aku dengan Arc siap ambil cuti lagi nak pegi ke sale tuh. Bukan senang IKEA nak buat sale.

Ramai juga rakan rakan aku pun cuti sama pasal nak berlari ke IKEA. Ada seorang kawan aku tuh kata keje gila ajer pegi sale macam itu. Dia tak tahu aku sendiri pun pegi gak. Dia kata keje gila, Abis tuh dah nama pun mad sale. hahahahahahaha. Berjam jam wo que nak bayar. Hampeh betul aku rasa masa tuh. Pakkla la sale tuh sampai 70%, tuh yg aku tahan tunggu tuh.

Berbalik pada Sale Jusco tuh, bila dah sampai pergh, segala macam bau ada. Dah orang gila punya ramai, air-cond yang sejuk tuh pun tak terasa sejuk. Hangat sikit aku rasa temperature dia sama hangat dengan aku nak mencelah celah orang nak mencari Arc.

Aku tak adala plan nak beli apa apa pasal aku dah beli dah sale yang lepas. Tapi Arc la nak mencari yang dalam dalam hehehehehe. Biasanya yang dalam dalam tuh Harga mencecah RM 80 ringgit dah jadi berbelas ringgit. Tuh yang dia bersemangat pergi tuh. Ya la kan barang yang dalam dalam tuh beli mahal mahal pun benda kecik ajer tu yang rasa tak patut dengan harganya tuh. Tapi pasal dah jadi berbelas ringgit, sanggup dia mengharungi umat umat yang berebut rebut tuh.

Time dia sibuk sibuk membeli yang dalam dalam tuh aku sibukkan diri aku kat bahagian Audio Visual. Tak kan la aku nak lepak dekat umat umat yang sibuk cari yang dalam dalam tuh. Aku pulak yang termalu karang bila dia orang sembang sembang ker acu acu ker kat area situ. Maklum la testing room penuh. hehehehehe.

Ada juga la beli barang barang yang lain tapi tempat yang paling penuh sesak memang boleh nampak la. Pertamanya kat bahagian lingerie, Keduanya kat bahagian baju wanita, Ketiganya kat bahagian Kasut (Wanita), Keempatnya kat Bahagian baju lelaki,
Kelimanya kat bahagian Bag bag tangan wanita dan selebihnya lebih kurang sama ajer.

Nampakla sangat memang bab shopping nih memang tarikan untuk perempuan. Tengok dari sale macam ini pun dah jelas dah memang perempuan terror shopping. Macam Tipah tertipu cakap, perempuan beli baju bulan bulan atau paling kurang pun tudung, lelaki baju raya pun boleh skip ke tahun depan hehehehehehehehe.

For ollls ladies I dont mean to insult, cuma nampak dari made sale baru baru ini ajer. Peace ekkks.

How I wish to have more money so that I dont have to wait till sale to get what I want. Kena usaha lebih nih cari income lain nampaknya.

Kisah pegawai KWSP dan aku

Semalam aku bercuti untuk membawa mak aku ke KWSP dan juga pejabat tanah untuk menyelesaikan hal hal yang bersangkutan dengan mak aku sebelum di a pencen 22 May ini.

Mulanya kami ke KWSP Kajang. Untuk mengeluarkan duit KWSP mak aku. Tak banyak pun pasal ada RM100++ ajer. Tapi masih duit juga jadi aku pun bawa mak aku kesana. Musykil gak apasal sket sangat. Rupanya mak aku ambil skim pencen tuh yang ada seciput ajer kat KWSP tuh.

Selesai urusan mak aku aku pun bertanya la dengan pegawai yang bertugas untuk pengeluaran duit sambung belajar aku tuh.

Aku: Kalau ikut borang nih macam saya kena dahulukan duit untuk bayaran yuran ajer. Kalau boleh saya nak KWSP bayarkan terus ajer yuran tuh

Peg KWSP: Adik sertakan borang tawaran kemasukan universiti bersama course fee dan hantarkan kepada kami.

Aku: OK tapi kenapa perlukan salinan SPM pulak.

Peg KWSP: Ohh kita perlukan itu untuk tahu adik layak ke tak?

Aku: Layak untuk apa?

Peg KWSP: Untuk kursus yang adik ambil?

Aku: Kalau dah dapat surat tawaran dari universiti pun nak juga salinan SPM saya?

Peg KWSP: Prosedur adik untuk tahu adik membuat permohonan kali pertama pengeluaran KWSP untuk sambung belajar buat Diploma.

Aku: Tapi saya nak buat Master.

Peg KWSP: Oh ye ke BANG. Kalau macam itu ABANG sertakan salinan ijazah abang.

Dan dan dia terus panggil aku ABANG

Soalnya

Kelihatan muda kah aku hehehehehehehe. Mungkin pasal diet aku hahahahahahahaha

My Opinion on The Last Entry - Facing Death

FACING DEATH - was written by a Malaysian Muslim in July 2005, when he was stricken with terminal cancer. He died on November 27th, 2005. Arwah wants to be known as K.

Mari sama sama kita sedekahkan Al Fatihak kepada Allahyarham K semoga rohnya dilindungi kekuasaan Allah SWT.

Aku rasa entry yg ini memang sangat panjang sampaikan Arc pun tak terlarat untuk baca entry sebegini. Satu kisah sedih yang dialami sebahagian dari masyarakat kita. Satu kisah sedih yang telah ditentukan oleh Allah Azzawajalla.

Memang benar setiap perkara itu telah diputuskan sejak di lohmahfuz lagi. Sebagai seorang muslim kita yakin dengan ketentuan ini.

Cuma apa yang menggusarkan aku adalah keterangan arwah K yang pada aku sama kali bercanggah dengan dengan konsep berusaha yang selama ini aku yakini. Aku yakin memang segala dalam kehidupan ini tertulis di lohmahfuz tetapi itu seharusnya bukan menjadikan ia sebagai satu alasan untuk berterusn berusaha untuk mencapai sesuatu yang kita inginkan atau impikan.

Ia seolah olah menidakkan kekuasaan Allah itu sendiri bagi mereka yang berusaha maka akan ada balasannya. Acap kali kita mendengar " Aku tidak akan mengubah nasib seseorang itu jika dia tidak mengubah nasibnya sendiri ". Ayat apa jgn tanya pada aku kerana aku bukan ahli dalam menafsir Al Quran. Tapi inilah satu ayat yang sering dinyatakan dalam kuliah kuliah maghrib diseluruh dunia menggesa kita muslimin dan muslimat untuk berterusan berusaha untuk mengubah nasib kita kearah kehidupan yang lebih baik.

Dalam konteks ini arwah K menerapkan sikap yang harus semua insan dekati ketika menghadapai maut. Ajal dan maut di dalam tangan Allah dan tiada muslimin yang mempertikaikannya. Aku kira seharusnya arwah K tidak seharusnya mengeluarkan ayat yang berusaha itu adalah sia sia dan lebih baik sahaja kita redha dan bertawakal kepada Allah dan dengan demikian kita tak akan gelisah menghadapai kematian.

Aku percaya segalanya perlu diusahakan dahulu dan yakin setiap usaha itu ada balasannya. Jika kita fikir apa yang kita usahakan itu tidak dekat dengan apa yang kita kehendakai, muhasabah diri kita dulu. Aku yakin ada yang tidak kena dengan diri kita. Setelah kita berusaha barula kita bertawakal dengan apa yang terjadi dengan kita dan redha dengan apa yang diputuskan oleh Allah SWT.

Aku punya rakan yang bapanya telah di diagnos mengidap kanser usus. Pernah dibuang ususnya sepanjang 2 kaki. Selepas 2 tahun kemudian, doktor memeriksa semula dan kansernya itu telah merebak ke usus yang lain dan doktor menasihatkannya untuk membuang 3 kaki usus lagi. Aku mencadangkan satu alternatif kepada kawan aku menerusi testomoni dari orang lain. Duit bukan penghalang jadi kawan aku rekomenkan kepada ayahnya dan alhamdulillah sehingga sekarang usus 3 kaki yang sepatutnya dibuang telah baik seperti usus orang yang sihat.

Lihatla bagaimana dia berusaha, dari makan ubat serta antibiotik sehinggalah pernah dibuang ususnya 2 kaki, ayah kawan aku ini masih berterusan berusaha untuk menjadikan ususnya sihat. Dengan usaha beliau, dia telah berjaya menyelamatkan ususnya dibuang 3 kaki untuk kedua kalinya. Inilah balasan yang Allah janjikan jika seseorang itu berusaha.

Teruskan lah berusaha kerana usaha itu akan dibayar. Jika usaha itu tidak kesampaian, periksa diri kita sendiri kenapa ia gagal kerana Allah selalu berkehendakkan manusia itu sentiasa berjaya.

Lord Budak: Aku selalu usahakan agar tangan ini sampai ke mulut aku untuk suapkan makanan supaya aku kenyang. Aku tidak akan kenyang jika tangan menggosok perut sambil melihat makanan dimeja makan.

Facing Death

Something that I really want to discuss with friends

Lord Budak


FACING DEATH
A testimony of a Muslim Stricken with Metastasis Cancer
For Free Distribution

(The author passed away peacefully at the age of 39 in his Taman Permata home on the 27th. November 2005due to terminal cancer. He is survived by his wife, a young son and two younger daughters. He left behind a clear request to distribute this article only after his death. Pray that Allah give His Mercy to his soul and reward him with Jannah. Ameen) – his elder brother


Bismillahir Rahmanir Rahim

FACING DEATH

1. INTRODUCTION

Assalamu'alaikum Brothers and Sisters in Islam.

First of all, please allow me to identify myself on as K. My main reason to remain anonymous is because I want the readers to concentrate more on the content of this article rather than to concentrate on the character of the author, I.e. Me. This is because this article contains things that I learned from personal experience throughout my ordeal in facing death, which I feel is now my obligation to share with my Muslim Brothers and Sisters.

At the same time, however, I know I am far from being a perfect Muslim, and I am still unsure of the state I would be in when my Creator finally calls me. I am still worried whether I would really pass the test I.e. The pain, the agony, especially during Sakaratul Maut. Therefore, I do not want the state of my death to affect the credibility of the knowledge that I want to share with you in this article.

As the main purpose of this article is to share my knowledge and experience, you may distribute this freely to others. Those who know me, if required you can mention verbally about the author, but no name please. The same applies to those who receive the information. Like I said earlier, it is not important to know who the author was. What is more important to ponder the information I am sharing with you in this article.

Last but not least, the views expressed in this article are solely my opinions. This means that I could be right and I could also be wrong. If you have doubts on some of my views, by all means consult the experts, the Islamic Scholars in particular.

If I am proven wrong, take the article from the Islamic Scholars and please ignore mine. What I am doing here is just sharing with my fellow Brothers and Sisters in Islam what I have learnt to the best of my knowledge, hoping that we could all learn something from it.

1.1 A Brief History of My Illness

In the fourth quarter of year 2002, I was diagnosed with Choroidal Metanoma, a cancer of the choroids behind the retina in my right eye. By the time it was correctly diagnosed, the cancer had already grown to a considerable size where it was no longer possible to save the vision through an operation, although there was still a chance to save the eyeball.

But such an operation would be very costly, as it could only be performed in a foreign country. Furthermore, there would be costs for the subsequent treatments (radiation therapy), etc; and yet the risk of "recurrence" would still be very high, plus some other possible complications. A better solution as suggested by the local experts was "Enucleation", I.e. To remove the right eyeball completely.

It was a tough decision to allow the doctors to enucleate my right eyeball. But Alhamdulillah, after a lot of prayers and putting a lot of thoughts to it, I decided to have it done. To cut the story short, Allah s.w.t. gave me another one and a half months before the operation could take place; at first because of my request to spare me from the operation for another two weeks. Subsequently the operation had to be further postponed due to the unavailability of the correct size of the artificial eye that needed to be placed in my right eye's orbit.

The one and a half months is a period that will be referred in this article, so please allow me to term it as Grace Period 1.

The enucleation and the artificial eye implant took place in November 2002, during the month of Ramadhan. I had to miss a few days of fasting, but I could no longer postpone the operation due to the high risk of it spreading to other parts of the body. Alhamdulillah, the operation went well, and Alhamdulillah, Allah made me recover from the operation fairly quickly, making it possible for me to carry on with my fasting for the remaining days.

The histopathology report that came later confirmed that the cancer was confined to the eyeball and there was still a considerably good margin separating the cancer cells from the eyeball's main blood vessels, Alhamdulillah.

Having done the enucleation was not the end of the story. I became aware by reading articles from the internet and also from doctors, that I was still at risk of experiencing "recurrence" or worse, the fatal metastasis cancer (cancer that spreads to other parts of the body). As for metastasis cancer, the most common part that would be affected due to choroidal melanoma is the liver.

Therefore I always had to go for medical checkups every 6 months, to do a CT Scan of the brain and orbit, and an ultrasound of the liver. All praise is due to Allah s.w.t., I lived a normal life from the moment I recovered from the enucleation in November 2002 until the last quarter of year of 2004.For easy reference later in this article, I term this period as Grace Period 2.

In the middle of year 2004, I started sensing some changes in me. The changes were in terms of my energy levels; I started to feel very tired at the end of the day. There were times when I just felt a bit tired all of a sudden, but after a while I felt ok again. I also discovered I had to take a long time to recover from a simple flu, instead of my normal 2 hours (using panadol + sleeping under a blanket), I now took 2 days to recover.

I then began to realize that something was not very right with me. It could be either my fitness level had dropped due to the lack of exercise (unlike before the enucleation operation), or because of the possible metastasis cancer mentioned before. Anyway, my next scheduled CT Scan and Ultrasound was just around the corner, i.e. in early August, which would be a good opportunity to check the cause of the problem.

The result of the ultrasound scan confirmed that I had Multiple Liver Metastasis. It was indeed a heavy blow to me, previously I was losing my eye and now I was going to lose my life. I was told that if not treated, I might only have 6 months or so to live. To make things worse, the Head of Oncology Department confirmed that at present, metastasis cancer of the liver due to choroidal melanoma has very limited solutions. And all these solutions have low percentage rate of success. At best even if successful, the solution would only help to prolong life for a few more months or so. Anyhow, he still suggested that I go for the proposed treatments, and I did.

So that is the condition I am in today at this point of writing. Still struggling with the cancer. I have gone for most of the proposed treatments (chemotherapy, chemo embolization, etc.) and Alhamdulillah, I am still alive at this point of time. It has been more than 11 months since I was first diagnosed with the metastasis cancer, and I am referring to this period asGrace Period 3.

But from the medical reports, I have the feeling that this period will not be long, because the metastasis cancers are still growing and I am beginning to feel and experience the effects. It may just be a matter of time now, before Allah s.w.t. decide to end my life or to cure me through His miracles.

The above is a brief history of my illness, which I think is important to know before you will be able to understand the remaining content of my article.

[For more information about Choroidal Melanoma and Metastasis Cancer, just do a google search, insyaAllah you will find lots of information about it. One example is the site below:
http://www.eyecancer.com /MetastaticMelanoma/MetMel.html]


2. The Principle Attitude to be adopted

It is not easy to list down in the right chronology the things that I learned throughout my ordeal, as they involved various time spans. So I will try my best to arrange them according to what I think is best. Honestly, I do not have much time to think about the strategy to write this article. So please forgive me for all shortcomings.

I will start with what I term as "The Attitude" to be adopted when facing a situation like mine. This is important as it will determine your next course of actions.

"Have a Strong Will to Fight it!"

When I was told that I had choroidal melanoma in my right eye, and the best solution was to remove the eyeball completely (enucleation), I was really in total state of confusion. This was because while all the doctors advised me to go for the enucleation immediately, my close relatives and friends said that there existed alternative medications that could help remove or reduce the tumor size, citing several personally known cases, and advising me that I should give some time to try them out.

But everyone of them shared one particular common principle, which was that "You must have a strong will to fight this cancer". In other words, I should do whatever necessary to fight the cancer not only from the physical treatment point of view (surgery, chemotherapy, alternative medications and supplements, etc.), but also from the emotional, mental and spiritual point of view (positive thinking, meditation, constant prayers and supplications to Allah s.w.t. for recovery, constantly reciting certain verses of the Quran and some shalawat related to Asy-Syifa', etc.).

I subscribe to this idea to "fight this cancer from all aspects mentioned above". I used my granted Grace Period 1 from Allah s.w.t. to try all other kinds of alternative treatments that I could find. I spent a lot of money going from one place to another for treatments, etc., hoping that the cancer could be reduced or at least controlled from further growth.

I also used this same period to "fight the cancer" from the spiritual, emotional and mental point of view by increasing my daily Quranic readings and night prayers, crying in front of Allah s.w.t. while asking for His mercy for my recovery, constantly reciting the recommended Quranic verses and shalawat, meditation, and so many others.

Nevertheless despite all these efforts, I could see that the cancer was still growing (remember, the cancer was in my eye, so I could see the spot that was affecting my vision becoming larger and larger). At the time when the artificial eye was available (end of Grace Period 1), I could see that there was no improvement, which meant that I had no more reasons to ask for further postponement.

It was also becoming too risky, i.e. the gap was becoming narrower between the cancer spot and the main inlet/outlet for the eye, where the main blood vessels are, i.e. the blind spot. So I decided to proceed with enucleation, convincing myself that this was what Allah had wanted. I forced myself to "redha" (true acceptance) with Allah's decision, as that was the only choice I had in order to overcome my frustration.

As you know, more than one and a half years later I got the news that I have metastasis cancer. It was a big blow to me when I received the news. Before this I was about to lose my eye, and now I am about to lose my life.

I spent a considerable amount of time pondering about all these things that I had gone through and about to go through. I also prayed to Allah s.w.t. for His guidance, as I was not sure what was going to happen to me and what I was supposed to do. I already had the experience fighting the eye cancer before in which I failed and had caused me a little bit of depression. So I was not sure now if I really could go through it all over again fighting even more severely for something which was more crucial – my life.

But Alhamdulillah, Allah s.w.t. then helped me "see things" I had never "seen" before. I suddenly realized that my ordeal while facing the eye cancer problems actually contained lessons for me to face my second ordeal, the possibility of losing my life. The lessons are:

? The fact that I could not save my eye despite all the efforts I made physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually, reminds me that none of my body parts actually belong to me. They are merely "lent" to me by Allah s.w.t. Before this, I only understood this fact "theoretically", now I really know it for sure.

? When Allah s.w.t. had willed to take away my eye, nothing could stop this decision. So what makes me think now that I can stop Allah s.w.t. if He decides to take away my life?

? Throughout Grace Period 1, I never knew what Allah s.w.t's final decision would be for my eye until I discovered that it was too risky to postpone the enucleation. So, was adopting the "fighting the cancer" attitude, especially from spiritual point of view, really worth it? What I discovered was that I was still having some feelings of disappointment at times, as if Allah s.w.t did not answer my prayers despite all the spiritual efforts I made. These were the whispers of Syaitan, who continuously try to divert mankind away from Allah s.w.t.

All the above now contribute to a very important lesson in my life, which is as follows:

The advise to "Have a strong will to fight cancer from all aspects of life (physical, emotional, mental and spiritual)" could actually be a very dangerous attitude for a Muslim to adopt. I was lucky I had that first experience, and the thing I was fighting for was only to save my eye. But what if at that time, I was actually fighting for my life? What if while I was fighting for my life suddenly I discovered that the Angel of death was now in front of me about to take my life away?

I could have died while being displeased with Allah s.w.t's decision to take away my life; because I had made a lot of efforts, prayers and supplications to Him but yet it would seem then as though He had not answered any of my prayers (na'udzubillah). Had I died in this situation, i.e. with the feeling of displeasure to Allah s.w.t. do you think Allah s.w.t. would still be pleased with me? I don't think so.

I therefore realized that the attitude to "Have a strong will to fight cancer from all aspects of life (physical, emotional, mental and spiritual)" is definitely a wrong and dangerous attitude for me to adopt, especially now when I am about to lose my life due to this metastasis cancer.

So What Attitude to Adopt?

My ordeal fighting the eye cancer was a very important lesson for me. I know for sure that "having a strong will to fight" is a very wrong thing to do. Why fight for something when I am not sure what the outcome would be? Especially after knowing that Allah s.w.t. has already decreed for each one of us how long we shall live in this world, and that none can stop it when the time comes.

"But to no soul will Allah grant respite when the time appointed (for it) has come; and Allah is well-acquainted with (all) that ye do".
(Al-Munaafiqun: 11)

"Wherever ye are, death will find you out, even if ye are in towers built up strong and high!.."
(An-Nisaa': 78)

"We have decreed Death to be your common lot, and We are not to be frustrated."
(Al- Waqia'ah: 60)

"He is the Irresistible, (watching) from above over His worshippers, and He sets guardians over you. At length, when death approaches one of you, Our angels take his soul, and they never fail in their duty."
(Al-An'am: 61)

The above are just four out of so many Quranic verses talking about Life and Death, all reminding us of whom we are, nothing but weak human beings who live in this world at the mercy of Allah s.w.t. So to put up a strong fight for my life while not knowing what Allah s.w.t. has decided for me (as it is totally beyond my knowledge), is definitely not the right thing to do. Furthermore, as I have discussed previously, this attitude could be very dangerous as I may die while being displeased with Allah s.w.t's decision.

The next obvious question is "What then should be my correct attitude in facing this possibility of losing my life?". The answer lies in the Quran in the following verse:

"To Allah do belong the unseen (secrets) of the heavens and the earth, and to Him goeth back every affair (for decision):then worship Him, and put thy trust in Him: and thy Lord is not unmindful of aught that ye do.
(Hud: 123)

The above verse clearly indicates that we have no knowledge of the Unseen (including the time of our deaths) as they belong to Allah s.w.t. alone, and that all affairs are for him to decide. We are asked to put our trust (tawakkal) in Him alone. Allah s.w.t. also said in the Quran:

"Be sure We shall test you with something of fear and hunger, some loss in goods or lives or the fruits (of your toil), but give glad tidings to those who patiently persevere. Who say, when afflicted with calamity: "To Allah we belong, and to Him is our return". They are those on whom (descend) blessings from their Lord, and Mercy, and they are the ones that receive guidance.
(Al-Baqarah: 155-157)

Based on these facts, I therefore have chosen to let Allah s.w.t. decide for me, whether to heal me or to take away my life, as I realized that it is not for me to decide on this unseen thing.

My supplication to Allah s.w.t. have also changed. Previously when I was about to lose my eye, I did a lot of prayers and supplications to Allah s.w.t. asking Him for my recovery. But this time, all I ask from Allah s.w.t. is whatever His decision will be, let it be the best for me; i.e. if He decides to heal me, make me a better person and a very obedient servant of His; if on the other hand He decides to take away my life, I beg Him to take me away during the time He is truly pleased with me and to bless me with His forgiveness and mercy. I also asked Allah s.w.t. to make me among "those who patiently persevere", as I do not know how much pain and agony I will have to face later on in the future. That is all I ask from Him, and I put all my trust in Him as is commanded by Him in the above verse.

This is the concept of "Redha" (true acceptance) of what Allah s.w.t. has decreed upon us, and "Tawakkal" i.e. putting all trust to Allah s.w.t. It is not something that can be easily achieved without the help from Allah s.w.t. Therefore, you will have to continuously ask Allah s.w.t. to help you achieve it. That is what I did, and I discovered Allah s.w.t. is so Merciful and He will help you when you sincerely ask for it. I will talk about this in the next section insyaAllah.

What is more important to tell you at this stage are what I have personally experienced after adopting this "Redha and Tawakkal" attitude in replace of "You must have a strong will to fight the cancer" attitude. The things that I discovered are as follows:

? With the "Redha and Tawakkal" attitude, I discovered that I began to really enjoy doing my prayers, supplications to Allah s.w.t. and all kinds of other ibadah (Solat, Zikrullah, Quranic readings and studies, etc); as I now do all these only with the hope to obtain His blessings and forgiveness and nothing else.

With the "strong will to fight the cancer" attitude, I was having a lot of
conflicts within myself when I performed all the above ibadah, because I was not sure if I was doing them to get Allah s.w.t's blessing and forgiveness or because I was desperate for recovery. Sometimes I felt guilty of being selfish, I felt that I did all these because I was only thinking for myself (i.e. for my recovery), not because of trying to please Allah s.w.t. Honestly, it was really awful to have that kind of feeling while doing your ibadah.

? With the "Redha and Tawakkal" attitude, I really have a very peaceful mind (mentally, emotionally and spiritually). I am not under any kind of pressure at all due to my sickness, in fact I am totally relaxed, alhamdulillah. When I feel sick, I make a lot of Istighfar as I know this is one method for Allah s.w.t. to forgive my sins. When I feel ok, I praise Him as I really feel thankful for His great Mercy towards me.

I think this is the blessing you would get from Allah s.w.t. once you adopt the "Redha and Tawakkal "attitude, as you let Allah s.w.t. decide the best for you, compared to when I was adopting the "strong will to fight the cancer" attitude where I was really under a lot of stress. I guess back then I was really desperate to recover, I believed I could fight the cancer and so I tried my best, I never prepared myself to be on the "losing side", so I was really under pressure to win the battle.

? Having a peaceful mind (mentally, emotionally and spiritually) in itself is a form of healing. Even if it does not help me to survive the cancer physically, it is already helping me to face it mentally, emotionally and spiritually, which is more important.

It is important to note that when I said that I began adopting the "Redha and Tawakkal" attitude, I did not mean I also started refusing to go for any kind of treatment. The "Redha and Tawakkal" attitude that I adopt is for my mental, emotional and spiritual point of view only. Physically, I still go for recommended treatments suggested by the medical doctors and complimentary medical practitioners, as long as the recommended treatment is not against Islamic teachings (of course I also have other criteria before I go for my treatment, but they are my personal preferences, e.g. it must not be very expensive as I prefer to save the money for my children).

But when I go for any of these treatments, I never put on any hope on them because I have put my hope and trust only to Allah s.w.t. Whether or not I will be healed, it is up to Allah s.w.t. to decide. I therefore do not have any stress about the possible failure as a result of the treatment.

One might ask why then do I still go for treatment if I have put my trust and hope only to Allah s.w.t.? The answer is because we never know what lies ahead of us, i.e. in my case, whether Allah s.w.t. will heal me or take away my life. But we do know that most of the times Allah's help come via the people around you, as Allah s.w.t. is in control of everything in this world.

I therefore should not refuse any help offered by anybody especially when they are sincere to help and the proposed treatment does not go against the criteria I mentioned earlier. From my own experience, if the proposed treatment works (even if it only reduces the pain) then there is more reason for me to thank Allah s.w.t.; and if it doesn't work, then there is always a lesson to learn from it.

To summarise this lesson, ""Redha and Tawakkal" is a much better attitude to adopt as it brings you so much greater benefits from all aspects of life (Physical, Emotional, Mental and Spiritual)

2.3 How to Achieve the "Redha and Tawakkal"
Attitude?

I have mentioned earlier that the "Redha and Tawakkal" attitude is not something easily achieved without the help of Allah s.w.t. We have to continuously ask Allah s.w.t. to help us on this matter. Even for me at this stage, I still think I have a long way to go to make sure that I can maintain the "Redha and Tawakkal" attitude. This is because I do not know what lies in front of me, for example, in terms of the agony and pain that I would probably face later. Every time something 'bad' happens to someone (pain, sickness, bad news, etc.), that is a test from Allah s.w.t. But it could be so bad that one might lose his/her patience (na'uzubillah). This is what I am worried about, therefore I must continuously ask Allah s.w.t. all the time to help me to maintain this attitude.

And from my experience, yes Allah s.w.t. will answer your prayer once you put your full trust in Him alone. And sometimes the answer came in a manner which you did not expect.

For example, after I was diagnosed with metastasis cancer, and was told that I probably have 6 months or so to live, I was really upset. A few days later I was arranged to meet a Professor who was also the Head of Oncology Department of a local hospital. He told me further bad news, where he honestly said to me "You have of the three cancers that I hate to treat, because there is really no cure for it". He then explained to me the types of available treatments and the success rate of each, which definitely would be very depressing for anyone in my position.

But Alhamdulillah, before I met the Professor, I had already decided to adopt the "Redha and Tawakkal" attitude and started to ask Allah s.w.t. to help me on this matter. Allah s.w.t's help came in the manner I least expected, as He made me "see" more things I had never "seen" before. I suddenly realized that the 'bad news' where I have only about 6 months or so to live was actually not a bad news at all, but a merciful message from Allah s.w.t. telling me to get ready for a possible death.

So many other people have died from sudden deaths either by accidents or from natural disasters (earthquakes, tsunamis, etc) and perhaps many of them were not prepared for their deaths at all. But I am actually given early warnings about how my life could possibly end. I will be the most stupid person on earth if I do not heed these early warnings. Realizing this, I became no longer upset with the news.

The news that I have "one of the three cancers" the Professor hates to treat "because there is really no cure" was also another blessing from Allah s.w.t. For many people, they would have probably cried "O God, why did you give me one of these three cancers? Why not a different cancer where I would have a better chance of survival?". I would probably have cried the same thing if Allah s.w.t. did not help me "see" things differently.

Instead, when I received the news from the Professor, I said to myself "Alhamdulillah". Why? Allah s.w.t. has actually answered my prayers. He forced me not to put any hope in any medication because as the professor had said, there is really no cure for it. So I have no choice but to really accept the fact (Redha) and rely on Allah s.w.t. (Tawakkal). That is why whenever I go for any treatment, I am never under any mental or emotional pressure because I no longer put any hope at all on these treatments, but I let Allah s.w.t. decide what the outcome will be. Like I said before, I just pray that whatever Allah s.w.t's decision is for me, let it be the best for
me in this world and hereafter.

Allah s.w.t's help also come in other forms, such as the knowledge you gain from Islamic books you read and from Islamic lectures and courses you attend. I find it sometimes amazing how Allah s.w.t. plan things for me, like when all of sudden the lecturer would touch on issues like "Redha", "Tawakkal", "death" or "Sickness" (which is so informative and beneficial for me), while the main topic of the lecture was not really meant to discuss any of these issues. These sorts of things happen so many times with many different lecturers discussing different topics.